Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing