Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Kansas (620)

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  (620): View more from Kansas

  When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.

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  (620): When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment. http://tfl.nu/putw
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  I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.

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  (620): I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender. http://tfl.nu/s55r
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  So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.

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  (620): So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive. http://tfl.nu/y5fy
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  Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving

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  (620): Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/x9wv
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  Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.

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  (620): Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day. http://tfl.nu/8ts7
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  Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.

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  (620): Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams. http://tfl.nu/9m3g
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  Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.

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  (620): Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there. http://tfl.nu/1ncw
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  We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.

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  (620): We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night. http://tfl.nu/jjc7
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  Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.

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  (620): Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/471z
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  I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.

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  (620): I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin. http://tfl.nu/7pmc
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  nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr

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  (620): nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr http://tfl.nu/wyqo
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  I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?

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  (620): I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get? http://tfl.nu/ju2n
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  would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?

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  (620): would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him? http://tfl.nu/7gug
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  He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.

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  (620): He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me. http://tfl.nu/rk0r
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  We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience

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  (620): We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience http://tfl.nu/dzei
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