ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"