This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
I was spiderman.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?