Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Jersey (609)

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good

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  (609): just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good http://tfl.nu/q5pn
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dont start drinking without me

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  (215): is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor? (609): dont start drinking without me http://tfl.nu/ofdx
  Replies (47) Good night (4083) Bad night (465)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.

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  (609): So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/c5bq
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them

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  (609): there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them http://tfl.nu/lo0z
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.

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  (609): Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night. http://tfl.nu/lzo0
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd give my left nut to see you

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  don't do that. I like the set

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  (724): I'd give my left nut to see you (609): don't do that. I like the set http://tfl.nu/41nb
  Replies (11) Good night (7453) Bad night (215)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.

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  (609): You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics. http://tfl.nu/ug0s
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  ravioli

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  (609): So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up (1-609): i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one (609): ravioli http://tfl.nu/eoaw
  Replies (37) Good night (3993) Bad night (2008)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made

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  (609): she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made http://tfl.nu/a7md
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud

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  (203): Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts? (609): And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud http://tfl.nu/gnmk
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted

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  (609): I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted http://tfl.nu/rfs0
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should

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  (609): i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should http://tfl.nu/q5zo
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.

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  (609): It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds. http://tfl.nu/3v3q
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.

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  (609): I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk. http://tfl.nu/79zz
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win

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  (609): Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win http://tfl.nu/6ut9
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