I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty