Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.