You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
Damn victory sex feels great
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect