Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Massachusetts (508)

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.

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  (508): There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him. http://tfl.nu/gfad
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  I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.

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  (508): I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/6qay
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  All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.

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  (508): All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears. http://tfl.nu/qmop
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  He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey

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  (508): He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey http://tfl.nu/jy2i
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  And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight

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  (508): And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight http://tfl.nu/ebf5
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  I'm drinking too much free beer

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  Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.

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  (651): I'm drinking too much free beer (508): Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible. http://tfl.nu/a7hm
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  True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.

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  (508): True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college. http://tfl.nu/95qw
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  Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this

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  (508): Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this http://tfl.nu/b1b0
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  I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen

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  (508): I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen http://tfl.nu/rd0a
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  she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.

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  (508): she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking. http://tfl.nu/8dis
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  I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical

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  (508): I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical http://tfl.nu/aogk
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  nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior

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  (508): nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior http://tfl.nu/s256
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  merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.

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  (508): merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash. http://tfl.nu/86x1
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  Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"

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  (508): Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!" http://tfl.nu/hrv9
  Replies (6) Good night (1716) Bad night (471)
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  How was your weekend?

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  The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.

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  (774): How was your weekend? (508): The sex was so good. It hurts to exist. http://tfl.nu/pe42
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