2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.