You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf