DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP