college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck