Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Massachusetts (781)

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"

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  (781): Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade" http://tfl.nu/du64
  Replies (3) Good night (855) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.

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  (781): I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name. http://tfl.nu/dhok
  Replies (15) Good night (372) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.

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  (781): I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever. http://tfl.nu/tgjb
  Replies (5) Good night (851) Bad night (294) Order T-Shirt
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  I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.

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  (781): I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone. http://tfl.nu/b6do
  Replies (6) Good night (554) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
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  My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days

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  (781): My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days http://tfl.nu/zkdk
  Replies (13) Good night (340) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
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  MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.

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  (781): MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/90bv
  Replies (14) Good night (1723) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
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  So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious

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  Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.

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  (952): So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious (781): Oh my god you need to get off of facebook. http://tfl.nu/ws52
  Replies (10) Good night (2616) Bad night (731)
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  I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.

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  (781): I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/k1ge
  Replies (4) Good night (318) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
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  No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling

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  (781): No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling http://tfl.nu/pro8
  Replies (5) Good night (1047) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?

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  (781): do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents? http://tfl.nu/2gwr
  Replies (13) Good night (323) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
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  If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.

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  (781): If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us. http://tfl.nu/xpf1
  Replies (28) Good night (1739) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured

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  I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed

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  (781): Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured (617): I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed http://tfl.nu/ilci
  Replies (14) Good night (2105) Bad night (364)
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  Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe

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  Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything

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  (781): Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe (617): Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything http://tfl.nu/wlv3
  Replies (12) Good night (1648) Bad night (314)
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  Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.

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  (781): Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours. http://tfl.nu/9pdv
  Replies (11) Good night (1542) Bad night (950)
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  I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"

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  (781): I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions" http://tfl.nu/b7d2
  Replies (7) Good night (2077) Bad night (340)