Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is very illegal...i love you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How much have you had to drink?
That seems like quite a lot.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it