Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (952)

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Last Night in Minnesota (952)

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I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport

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(952): I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport http://tfl.nu/ckgb

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You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.

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Looks like I won that one

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(952): You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor. (651): Looks like I won that one http://tfl.nu/usxg

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I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(

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(952): I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :( http://tfl.nu/9wgw

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Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.

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(952): Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost. http://tfl.nu/9cwp

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Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.

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(952): Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/n35v

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It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.

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(952): It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix. http://tfl.nu/eau6

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Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"

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(952): Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?" http://tfl.nu/w3wv

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Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?

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(952): Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number? http://tfl.nu/tc09

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Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.

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(952): Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm. http://tfl.nu/ghbo

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He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.

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(952): He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan. http://tfl.nu/7ucr

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So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious

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Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.

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(952): So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious (781): Oh my god you need to get off of facebook. http://tfl.nu/ws52

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Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage

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(952): Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage http://tfl.nu/dzdl

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you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits

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(952): you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits http://tfl.nu/5p30

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You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.

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(952): You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness. http://tfl.nu/88ay

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His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina

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(952): His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina http://tfl.nu/9a4t

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Last Night in Minnesota (952)

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