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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
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