It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight