It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.