Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (269)

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Last Night in Michigan (269)

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"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken

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"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy

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(269): "I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken (269): "Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy http://tfl.nu/49f2

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I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.

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(269): I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now. http://tfl.nu/er1x

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Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry

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im coming over

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(269): Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry (1-269): im coming over http://tfl.nu/72kd

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There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.

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(269): There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now. http://tfl.nu/59k6

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Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.

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(269): Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward. http://tfl.nu/yk34

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I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.

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(269): I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it. http://tfl.nu/gxrr

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I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class

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(269): I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class http://tfl.nu/65qj

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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.

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(269): P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema. http://tfl.nu/a51s

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If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you

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(269): If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you http://tfl.nu/cez4

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just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.

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(269): just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment. http://tfl.nu/lbx2

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all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird

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OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO

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(269): all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird (269): OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO http://tfl.nu/9b3x

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A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?

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(269): A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash? http://tfl.nu/uuv0

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he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing

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(269): he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing http://tfl.nu/dbp3

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I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch

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(269): I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch http://tfl.nu/4tdt

Replies (10) Good night (2406) Bad night (957)
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I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.

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(269): I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away. http://tfl.nu/ufa3

Replies (10) Good night (4507) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Michigan (269)

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