Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely