I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks