Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever