it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex