While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit