it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?