Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site