I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?