please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
we f'd six times
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.