just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too