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before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
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