He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?