You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My bed smells like the plague
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.