Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (707)

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  (707): View more from California

  I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.

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  (707): I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over. http://tfl.nu/3xvt
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  DON'T WEAR PANTS.

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  I REPEAT.

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  DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.

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  (707): DON'T WEAR PANTS. (707): I REPEAT. (707): DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS. http://tfl.nu/9ogh
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  Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.

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  And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.

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  (707): Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful. (707): And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead. http://tfl.nu/n413
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (217)
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  I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude

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  (707): I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude http://tfl.nu/pine
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  My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?

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  (707): My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day? http://tfl.nu/zsu8
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  Hahah. They reconnected again?

  (1-707): View more from California

  Like with his penis I guess

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  (707): Hahah. They reconnected again? (1-707): Like with his penis I guess http://tfl.nu/k3d2
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  The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".

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  (707): The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny". http://tfl.nu/ox7j
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  I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day

  (408): View more from California

  Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry

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  (707): I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day (408): Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry http://tfl.nu/3wks
  Replies (5) Good night (767) Bad night (224)
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  He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.

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  (707): He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/bl7f
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  They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield

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  (707): They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield http://tfl.nu/3a5d
  Replies (7) Good night (1325) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt
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  I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.

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  (707): I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made. http://tfl.nu/x9xf
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt
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  I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha

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  (707): I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha http://tfl.nu/s6o5
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  I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?

  (650): View more from California

  There is so much wrong with that sentence

  (707): View more from California

  Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real

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  (707): I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom? (650): There is so much wrong with that sentence (707): Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real http://tfl.nu/wzrt
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  (415): View more from California

  we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"

  (707): View more from California

  communist

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  (415): we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own" (707): communist http://tfl.nu/tujw
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  I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.

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  (707): I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things. http://tfl.nu/vhue
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