Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Florida (954)

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  (954): View more from Florida

  I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice

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  (954): I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice http://tfl.nu/nj79
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  my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.

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  (954): my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer. http://tfl.nu/ka6k
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  well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.

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  (954): well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success. http://tfl.nu/hp4n
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  You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday

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  (1954): You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday http://tfl.nu/byqw
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  I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?

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  (954): I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home? http://tfl.nu/a7up
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  in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.

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  (954): in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume. http://tfl.nu/xcgb
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  I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.

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  (954): I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people. http://tfl.nu/j7bv
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  I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.

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  (954): I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate. http://tfl.nu/yurv
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  (954): View more from Florida

  oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?

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  (954): oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied? http://tfl.nu/xnft
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  I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday

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  (954): I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday http://tfl.nu/q72i
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  The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now

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  (954): The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now http://tfl.nu/qowj
  Replies (10) Good night (3084) Bad night (369)
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  (754): View more from Florida

  I feel like the other woman.

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  You ARE the other woman.

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  (754): I feel like the other woman. (954): You ARE the other woman. http://tfl.nu/ryi3
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  (954): View more from Florida

  his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.

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  (954): his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here. http://tfl.nu/eop3
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  She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.

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  (954): She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating. http://tfl.nu/jmu1
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.

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  (954): You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself. http://tfl.nu/qx75
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