Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
theres a video...
Dating After Heartbreak
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well