I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.