His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another