well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
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