Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.