I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.