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I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
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