color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick