At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.