dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.