My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.