In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.