I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son