had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face