No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip