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We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
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