Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂