Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must