the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.