I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.