Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of Today

• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack. http://tfl.nu/jydf
  Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (67) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn". http://tfl.nu/2c8a
  Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (85) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/xu6p
  Replies (5) Good night (612) Bad night (99)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man. http://tfl.nu/vdpw
  Replies (5) Good night (540) Bad night (67) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.

  (917): View more from New York City

  that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride. (917): that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks. http://tfl.nu/bp4f
  Replies (3) Good night (520) Bad night (124)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June http://tfl.nu/abqo
  Replies (11) Good night (494) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that. http://tfl.nu/drll
  Replies (7) Good night (490) Bad night (127) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts. http://tfl.nu/3snk
  Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (79) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you. http://tfl.nu/6jll
  Replies (8) Good night (429) Bad night (111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it. http://tfl.nu/q6wi
  Replies (4) Good night (412) Bad night (45) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch. http://tfl.nu/x8x8
  Replies (2) Good night (410) Bad night (60) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again. http://tfl.nu/uwik
  Replies (4) Good night (390) Bad night (93) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7. http://tfl.nu/on6e
  Replies (7) Good night (383) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth http://tfl.nu/7ynn
  Replies (5) Good night (367) Bad night (65) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order. http://tfl.nu/a6f0
  Replies (6) Good night (355) Bad night (45) Order T-Shirt