All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.