I am mentally ready for anal.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit