we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
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I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me