Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday