How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I would ride that face into the sunset
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night