I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
21 Most Ridiculous Responses to a Gay Man Coming Out
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
You came to the right person.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
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using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.