I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.