Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.