Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
the sex got boring after the first three hours
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.