Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?