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You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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