Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.