You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do