He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.