I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.