i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
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