Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (630)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness http://tfl.nu/aq74
  Replies (4) Good night (142) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode. http://tfl.nu/h8l8
  Replies (11) Good night (1807) Bad night (204)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  I don't even want to know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican. (1-630): I don't even want to know http://tfl.nu/s13d
  Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so.... http://tfl.nu/umr8
  Replies (4) Good night (251) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening http://tfl.nu/ov5q
  Replies (2) Good night (182) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday http://tfl.nu/2qux
  Replies (1) Good night (877) Bad night (196) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room? http://tfl.nu/9f6x
  Replies (11) Good night (285) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  fair point

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us (1-630): fair point http://tfl.nu/efw3
  Replies (8) Good night (1281) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time. http://tfl.nu/80xt
  Replies (7) Good night (2379) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead http://tfl.nu/lnf3
  Replies (8) Good night (2086) Bad night (208) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face. http://tfl.nu/i080
  Replies (8) Good night (301) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now. http://tfl.nu/zvll
  Replies (7) Good night (471) Bad night (1582) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver. http://tfl.nu/1ykf
  Replies (2) Good night (1477) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead. (319): You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you. http://tfl.nu/03d8
  Replies (15) Good night (1883) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed http://tfl.nu/eaof
  Replies (5) Good night (561) Bad night (1375)