Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?