Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Colorado (970)

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.

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  (970): Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch. http://tfl.nu/x8x8
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.

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  (970): That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's. http://tfl.nu/h55c
  Replies (1) Good night (916) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.

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  (970): You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan. http://tfl.nu/do61
  Replies (14) Good night (1491) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.

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  (970): I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out. http://tfl.nu/m1u8
  Replies (8) Good night (1624) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.

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  (970): I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff. http://tfl.nu/cfnv
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  I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.

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  (970): I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/vise
  Replies (9) Good night (398) Bad night (2689) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am

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  (970): We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am http://tfl.nu/badm
  Replies (4) Good night (1305) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.

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  (970): I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message. http://tfl.nu/3foq
  Replies (6) Good night (1620) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.

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  (970): I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl. http://tfl.nu/cu8p
  Replies (7) Good night (1485) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.

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  (970): I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly. http://tfl.nu/vykw
  Replies (13) Good night (878) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.

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  (970): I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious. http://tfl.nu/wv8w
  Replies (5) Good night (325) Bad night (1093) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.

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  (970): Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved. http://tfl.nu/n0se
  Replies (4) Good night (506) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.

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  (970): Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study. http://tfl.nu/bvl6
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i dont think thats healthy man...

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  (970): im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful. (303): i dont think thats healthy man... http://tfl.nu/vurl
  Replies (5) Good night (1823) Bad night (323)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.

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  (970): She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/2nbx
  Replies (12) Good night (513) Bad night (2192) Order T-Shirt