You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.