Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
ACE Hardware Is Charging More For ‘Female’ Versions Of Identical Products And Twitter Is Pissed
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Everyone Is Loving This Dad Who Dressed Up As Alan From ‘The Hangover’ For His Trip To Vegas
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack