does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me