Texts From Last Night · PandaGrapefruit's Favorites

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PandaGrapefruit's Favorites Texts:

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.

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(574): View more from Indiana

You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass

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(302): View more from Delaware

I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(518): View more from New York

No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."

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(971): View more from Oregon

I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"

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