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  • Submitted by porksword on Jan 24, 12 at 1:34pm

    I've never ejaculated prematurely, it's always felt like the perfect time!

    • 76 87
      Submitted by 2jzstang on Jan 24, 12 at 3:02pm

      Have I told you lately that I love you pork? Lol

    • 81 94
      Submitted by keto06 on Jan 24, 12 at 3:20pm

      "like a track star, just trying to beat my best time"

    • 79 83
      Submitted by Jnick on Jan 24, 12 at 5:13pm

      And now for the dismount!

  • Submitted by mundane on Jan 24, 12 at 1:28pm

    Sounds like that punch is coming quickly.

  • Submitted by ReesesPoofs on Jan 24, 12 at 2:11pm

    Aw no that'll make him all nervous and then he'll be thinking about it and it's more likely to happen

  • 99 95
    Submitted by peachpie88 on Jan 24, 12 at 4:32pm

    Well, now he won't be able to rise to the occasion anyway: so you don't have to worry about it anymore.

  • 91 94
    Submitted by BrandonYaBoi on Jan 24, 12 at 1:25pm

    Ay imma dude nd that shit is funny as hell

  • 79 82
    Submitted by BrosambaBinLaden on Jan 25, 12 at 3:08am

    Reverse Donkey Punch!

  • 64 92
    Submitted by ssabmud on Jan 25, 12 at 6:14pm

    Yeah. Because if a guy said "if you squirt on me I'll choke you out" that wouldn't sound like paycopath material at all would it.

  • Submitted by aawwsshheett on Jan 24, 12 at 1:56pm

    You got to start picking out a higher grade of dudes to bring home.

    • 70 81
      Submitted by SnidelyKWhiplash on Jan 24, 12 at 5:36pm

      Even a great guy can have performance issues.