i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
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You sir are my hero!
you believe this. you actually believe it.
damnit bro, i was just about to comment that.
This page is amazing!! I love you all...
IM GONNA DO THIS TODAY
BadMitch should be your hero, www.badmitch.com
I second what anonymous said, op is my hero!
@11:53 Peace is not a motive of Christians. Feeling like they're holier than thou and frowning upon others who don't conform are their motives. Peace is created by those who worship none and accept that we are simply animals, and we should not kill our own species. Jesus is inconsequential to this realization. I'm high.
i just read that high. WTF!!!
Lol, they belong on this site... peoplearejustdumb.com
this comment makes so much sense! i think its cause im high too.
I'm not high and you are absolutely right.
"I'm high." haha I love you
you are amazing
Last sentence.. hahaha!!!
I'm Catholic and I still think this is funny.
Occasionally you see a bookstore where the Christian reading is next to Homosexual literature. That's got to be humor in this same vein.
Even if it's unintentional, it's hilarious.
you, my friend, should listen to the song "ironic" by bo burnham. you will appreciate it
As Patti Smith said "Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine". I don't need your prayers. Kids in africa don't need your prayers. Prayers didn't solve anything. People solve things.
as an atheist, this is actually my favorite weapon to argue with! much agreement indeed
It's great how you atheists are just as bad as the super religious. Start living your own damn lives and stop criticizing the people who do.
Totally, because atheists start wars, commit genocide, and murder over their atheism.
Dude...have you read a history book lately? All of the wars of the ancient world were religion based. Ask the Aztecs about the wars against the Portuguese, oh wait,they were exterminated by the Christians.\nThe Crusades of course.The wars between the Catholics and the Protestants in Europe.\nThe African wars between the Hutus and Tutsi's. + World War II had a religious edge to it, Hitler used the "Jews Killed Jesus" thing to gain support. Though you can argue Hitler wasn't religious.
Hitler's supporters were, why do you think he used that saying to gain support?\nAnd The Troubles in Ireland\nRwanda 1994\nBoznia-Herzegovina\nThe Ivory Coast civil wars\nCyprus\nEast Timor civil war\nSri Lankan civil war\nCurrent Iraqi civil war\nHezbollah vs. Israel\nSyria vs. Israel\nKashmir civil war\nChechnya civil war\nSudan\nThirty Years War\nDon't be such an ignorant hypocrite.
Yep. Thanks for reminding everyone of those horrible events. And don't forget the Congo has been knee deep in shit for about 3 decades now. Or Darfur. Or Somalia, Ethipoia...I guess there's not enough oil there to fight for those countries' citizens freedoms.
Hitler was one crazzzzzy
Hitler was raised a catholic. all I'm saying
FYI the war between the hutus and tutsis was nothing to do with religion, they are both predominately christian, they are just different tribes. \n\nI wonder if the the Portuguese were more interested in the gold in south america than the fact the locals weren't christians?\n\nMost wars are about money and power. by the way i'm not religious.
the difference between the two is you can reason with an atheist. if you prove something to me i'll change my opinion, and act accordingly. you can't change their believes with 'prove'.. \n\nsorry to burst your bubble but saying atheism is as bad as religion just means you don't understand the difference.
If everybody stopped sinning then Jesus died for nothing... Keep sinning everyone! lol
haha i love how all you crazy religous people are getting so pissed off at this
lmao ; agreed.
fuck man. im a christian and i get the humor in this. we're not all fucked up in the head and drinking the koolaid and trying to "recruit" everyone in sight. sooner you realize that, i believe, the sooner we'll all get along...\n\nnow. on with the party.
yeah, we christians arent fucked up at all.
suckitdokes, couldn't of said that better!
lmao nice observation
Best selling work of fiction in world history. Obviously some shameful huligan had moved them all from the fiction section prior to this. You're a good guy to help the employees out, must've saved them at least 5 or 10 mins.
There's a great bumper sticker that says:
"Don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church."
hahaha that's fantastic! and so true
Lol, well someone had to do it.
Christianity has done plenty to shun others who they think are below them or not as good as they are.
They've done plenty of judgements against those who are supposedly 'sinful' when they are just trying to live their own lives and be their own people.
Religion is full of hypocrites.
I'm glad somebody got the inspiration to put those bibles on the fiction shelves of the bookstore, or if anyone has really done it.
Thats where they belong.
the fact that u had time to write that is sad...but good reading material
your comment makes no sense. he's saying a lot of Christians are hypocrites that distastefully believe that if you don't go to church every Sunday or if you have parties and get drunk on the weekends then that makes you a worse person than them. I've been raised Baptist and I'm no longer a Christian- I've tried but once you reason it out it just doesn't fit and is not believable no matter how much I try. We took the Jew's book, and modern Christians were only here for a coup
Seems like your just as insulting and condescending as the people your talking about. . . . what was that word you used? hypocrite? Yup. That was it. If you don't believe in it than why insult those who do?
dont you people have anything to do other than go on this website and cry fake? my goddd. it's funny, who cares if its fake
why dont we all try being tolerant of eachother and respect everyones beliefs
just because im an athiest doesnt mean i hate anyone who believes in god and you shouldnt either
thank you...i respect that.
Good call. People really need to lighten up. In America, we have freedom of religion and of speech. So shut the fuck up, haters, just calm down. People can express their thoughts on religion if necessary, or even if we feel like it. No one can say, "Oh don't do that you're wrong!" just because THEY don't agree with it.
I totally agree with what you're saying, don't get me wrong. But I just HAVE to point out the irony in how you worded it saying we have freedom of speech and then in the next sentence telling people to shut the fuck up hahahahaha
I agree that people need to lighten up. But you just told everyone to "shut the fuck up" after saying we have freedom of speech.
In one sentence you point out freedom of speech and in the very next tell someone to shut up. Awesome.
I would suggest next time simply changing the category signs. much easier and less noticeable than lugging a hundred books from one place to another
Uhm. I'm hardcore Christian and I found this HILARIOUS. Maybe some people just need to lighten up? Yeah? It would be a good decision, and probably stop the kids down the street from throwing eggs at snd toiletpapering your house. Get a life, and stop posting on things just to show how much you love your religion. If you don't approve, then just ignore it. Jeez.
I put the Hannah Montana movie in the Horror section at a movie rental once.
@11:38 chill, you work at a bloody book store, don't take your job so seriously.
also - amazon ftw
hahaha i hide all of ann coulter's books every time i go to the book stores.
Why would Bibles be filed under "fiction" when religion is its own category that indicates neither fiction, nor non-fiction.
People who try too hard to be witty usually fail.
Philly keepin' in classy.
Gotta love fucking with the religious people.
Mm its the bible thumpers that like causing the drama.
Bookstore workers too, apparently.
I still think its bloody hilarious.
i believe the correct term, is "Bible HUMPERS"
12:02 Also don't even get into the fact that alot of greek and roman mythology gods are proto christ figures, which all pre date Christianity. So speaking from that sense the bible most likely does belong in the fiction area.
You're an idiot. Of course Greek and Roman mythology pre-date Christianity. Its only a little over 2000 years old! I think what you are trying to argue is that they pre-date the Judeo-Christian belief system.
That may predate them but the two religions coexisted for hundreds of years. Until Constatine
So we should still be bowing to fake people in the sky because Ancients did??? They didn't wipe with toilet paper either, gonna follow that tip?
People have been yearning for a Christ figure forever, and now we have him. Genius.
People yearn to get laid....Oh wait, ask your Priests.
shut up 12:16 stop trying to convert us all
This is so stupid. Religious texts and such have their own section in the bookstore... under "religion". It doesn't say it's fact or fiction, it just classifies it as what it is. Just like philosophy and cookbooks, it doesn't mean "this is the right way to think/act/live/prepare a chicken", it just categorizes it to make it easier for people to find it. Calm the fuck down and stop trying to prove yourself by making extra work for people that already have shitty jobs.
funny as hell. . . if hell was real. . .
I have a question. What the fuck did Jesus do that was so great? Nothing changed after he left. He didn't save us from anything. It doesn't make any sense.
For everyone who is a moron and thinks this is offensive? The bible is fake. It's based on fucking hieroglyphs written by EGYPTIANS in 3000 BC. The SUN GOD RAH was the son of a virgin born on the 25th of December, was crucified and was reborn.
TELL ME JESUS IS REAL NOW, BITCH.
wow lol calm down hot shot. im sorry if you think its fake but i could really care less.. when this life is over we'll see who was right. and in your case i'd hate to be you. but ill still pray for ya
You know, I had the same philosophy about Santa for about 12 years. Every year I believed so hard, and the next morning I thought I was proven right. Then my parents realized I wasn't a child any more. Maybe it's time for you to grow up.
Santa is real, genius. Saint Nicholas of Myra.
Jesus was real, idiot. This is fact.
wtf are you retarded...The bible is not only a religious book, it's an actual dcumetation of historical events (at least partially) It has been proven that Jesus existed using science.
yeah it's true that jesus was a human who lived on this planet, but the bible is not necessarily a factual book. It contradicts itself. I basically view the bible the same way I view my daughter's Fairy Tale books - the stories (usually) have a good moral to the story, but I don't believe it's based on actual happenings. Be a good, honest person, help when you can and I think any God who can't love you for that isn't one I want to be worshipping anyways.
There is no evidence of an exodus from Egypt by the Jews, which is claimed in the old testament. That one fact destroys your argument. Fucking tard. "Actual documentation"? Other than the figures in the book being real people, there is nothing factual about it. It's a fucking law book to keep the poor and stupid under control. The only people who could write back then were wealthy men. But that's such an inconvenient fact to accept by fucking morons like you. "Actual documention"
11:51 HAH (:D i love you.
suck it jesus freaks is prolly the best thing i've heard in weeks.
wow is there really going to be a atheist vs christian debate on a website that was meant for humor?
Have you ever been on the internet before? This is what happens.
When you fuck a stranger in the ass?
woah, 2:31 AM, believing in SCIENCE (like physics, evolution, etc.) is NOT the same as Scientology. not even close.
this just made my day even if it is fake
i love seeing all the crazy catholics get mad when you say their religion is bullshit
Most of you saying it's offensive did you ever think them not being in the fiction center offends other people? I bet you didn't
I find it amazing that there are Christians checking. out TFLN. And this post is what they find offensive.
agreed, there's so much stuff on here with pre-marital sex and drunken one-night stands and this is what they take the time to bitch about.
Y'all are directly insulting my religion, I'm not a coward.
No, Churches that picket clinics, kill people, and show up at soldiers funerals insult your cult. This was just a funny text.
@12:08 Sure. So are Santa and Super Man.
Santa's real, genius. Saint Nicholas of Myra.
if you really think that the Santa we tell kids about is the same guy as Saint Nicholas, you must be retarded.
No altruistic god would ever allow him or herself to be worshiped the way your god seems to do.
Sorry, but weren't YOU just on it?? AHhahahahaha!!
I work at a bookstore, and people do shit like this all the time. Usually rather than moving entire sections, they just flip over all the atheist books, or the christian books, or the democrat books, or the republican books, or the books related to whatever other views they're intolerant of. It was every Obama book and magazine the other day. And yeah, it's a pain in my ass.
Aren't you getting paid? It's your job to deal with it. So deal with it and cry a little less.
fuck christians and anyone who didnt find this funny.
kudos, guy, kudos!
9:45: I am god... there is no proof that i am god, but you cant prove that i am NOT god! Now obey my order, and walk around naked, like i brought you into this world, clothing is a SIN!
paaahahaha love :D
i don't understand why religious people are humorous.
obviously, people have different beliefs
but you are saying that christians think very highly of themselves,
when you are making fun of them for believing in a higher being.
it's just a little hypocritical.
11:38 - If you just filed the bibles under fiction, where they belong in the first place, you wouldn't have to deal with all the "punks who make your job a living hell".
Also, if you can't take a joke at your shitty sales job, no wonder you think your life sucks, it does...but its your own fault.
you are my favorite person ever
i just literally lol-ed for like..20 seconds.
mucho love, man
it is fiction glad someone had the guts to do it!
i work at a barnes and noble... I would have though that was awesome..probably wouldn't even mind having to put them back
@2 post above mine:
The earth is more than 6000 years you idiot.
The Big Bang was not an explosion, and saying "God did it" is not a valid answer, as it doesn't answer anything. You have no way of knowing if God did it, and even if we knew a god did it, how do you know it's the god you believe in?
Hooray for astrophysics, and its ability to define the creation of the universe in observable and definitive calculations far beyond that which any religion has ever dreamed up.
Meh. Unoriginal quote. Unoriginal prank. All it does is leave the staff with yet another menial task to deal with at their already unrewarding job.
but wait 11:45...you yourself are judging us...I believe in God...and yes...he will judge you for being such a jackass. Hope you like "hell"...even though the afterlife is exactly what was happening before we were born...no conscious brain activity. You are a hypocritical bastard.
I've totally done this! Good work. Up your game and put all the Scientology ones in the sci-fiction/ fantasy section.
If the believers commenting on this are so god fearing and righteous, what are you reading TFLN for? It's all sex, drugs and jizz!!!!
I've done this before. Didn't get caught though.
In soviet russia bible puts you in fiction section
I don't believe in God, but whoever did this is a total wannabe punk rock asshat. I bet they're also fourteen.
tat person is going to hell
i cant believe you counted 10:55
i am so going to do this...
If it's real - it's funny!!
If it's fake - it's funny because it caused so much drama with the tfln bible thumpers.
just because you heard it before doesn't mean they didn't actually do it
why in the fuck do people insist on calling it barnes and nobleS???
Noble is not plural you fucktards!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear, every time I hear this it's like nails on a chalkboard...
This made me laugh more than the text..
@ that dude praying for everyone - pray for me too
Pray damn you! praaaaay! don't you ever stop praying. are you still praying?
I for one am always praying
I'd like to meet the dumbass who convinced everyone that some "big bang" created everything in the universe. Anyone could tell you that shit is ridiculous.
Best one ever
1:23 wtf did you just say
doesn't mean you have to interfere with our opinions just because you don't believe in God. I don't go and put books of your beliefs in the fiction section.
All hail the flying speghetti monster!!
win for pastafarianism =D
Heard it before too, but still funny.
LOL! Fucking awesome!
lmao @ 'god rocks.' God, who in the Bible caused numerous acts of hateful destruction, murdered almost the entire human race, and selfishly demanded that people worship him on his word alone... yeah, he rocks. Oh yeah, he then murdered his 'son' and pretty much stopped talking to humanity after that.
I know dictators in the real world who do/have done similar things!
God did not murder his Son, He gave His only Son to be the Lamb of God, a perfect sacrifice for the whole world. When you insult my God, know what you're talking about.
What truly does not make sense is the "need" of a perfect sacrifice at all. If God is omni-powerful, then would he not have been able to create "Heaven" as the only plane of existence in the first place? Since he would have known his humanity would fail, does that not make him self-serving and unholy by creating a sinful race while having the "power" to create a perfect existence like Heaven, and thereby removing sin from the picture completely? To put it plainly, sk
haha this shit is is so funny--whether it's real or not it's hilarious that so many lame christians are getting offended by a funny text message.
"GOD IS REAL" hahahahaha....
what about when you die, is it a nice feeling to believe that you will never live again, that you will never be reunited with the people you loved, that you will never walk through the gates of heaven?
the truth is not always "nice".
Haha cus the bible is just a real jovial read. Lot's of peace, love and understanding in there. Oh wait...
hahaha love this, CLASSIC
3:38 terrible! but awesomely hilarious
dont take it personal christians, all religion is bullshit, yours is just a really easy and always funny target
gods dont kill people, people with gods kill people
there arent too many atheist that kill in the name of atheism, but a hell of a lot of religious people that kill in the name of their religion
I just read through about the first hundred replies and let me say this:
Every atheist argument had supportive evidence and logic.
Every religious argument was "HE IS REAL AND YOU'RE GOING TO HELL."
I rest my case.
September 22, 2009 6:19PM
Cry me a fucking river. Everything on this site is wrong. And no there is not a law against it, as a matter of fact, there is an amendment to protect it. Freedom of speech.
you are my hero
This was funny and burning in he'll is worth reading it. Whatever, he'll is as real as your mom's tits.
haha that is amazing, and exactly where they belong.
1:13 The reason why there is a missing link with the evolution theory is because anthropology is fairly young as a science. And hasn't found every site, that or alot of sites have been destroyed by either nature or humans or built over with cities thus destroying any evidence.
This person is my hero!!!
@ 1:19, the creation of life.
The fact that you can supposedly pray for me personally when all you know about me is the time of day that I posted on this site just goes to show what a rediculous notion "god" and religion really is. Thanks for the undeniable confirmation.
God already knows what i'm gonna say before i say it. Hence the fact i only have to say a first name or the "individual posting on this website at such a time".
That is wrong but fucking funny!
this post is as real as Janice Dickinson's face.
i think this post is just trying to show you that the god you believe in is as real as pamelas tits
1:13: You just basically said, "Whenever I can't understand anything I blame it on God then walk away." Waaaay to be.
Telling him he's going to go to hell is stupid.
He oblivously doesn't even believe in that place
what a tool. this is on bash
I think 1:23 is speaking in tongues.
Wow you're so cool and edgy
Your amazing! Your my new hero, consider me your slave ;)
Fucking old joke is so fucking old.
This is such an old quote.
Really old shit is old? Oh, wow. Never knew. Thanks.
You should've bought them all and then burned them in a wheelbarrel out in front of the store. Or in front of a church!
Eww, why would you purchase that crap? Buying it just encourages them. Much better to steal it, then burn it.
Hahahaha, laughed even harder than at the text
I dont understand why the atheists on this sight are making all of these claims about christians...Christians are not placed on the earth to judge, that's Gods job....we are only asked to love, that's the central truth to our faith, "Love God, Love Others" what's to hate in that?
Well that was well spoken rebuttle there 1:05am#2. Kudos.
I just had to disconnect from a conference call because I could not stop laughing at this
@12:59 just because I pray for people doesn't mean I'm trying to convert everyone. Everyone has their own opinions, which I respect but don't have to agree with.
Awesome, gods laughing with you.
Actually, recent discoveries about the origins and growth of the universe point towards it being remarkably counter-logical, defying what we know of physics and mathematics. While their may not be a sentient god at play here, our existence most likely began with a godlike anomaly.
Hahahahaha, someone who doesn't understand science! Way to hold America back! \n\nIt's called random SELECTION, cockbite. Read a science book, or if that's too hard for you, try watching a documentary like the Blind Watchmaker. It has shiny pictures that move across the screen. Maybe they'll hold your attention better.
maybe you should read a science book dumbass; what are you trying to sound like an intelligent life form by pretending you know what the hell you're talking about? Random selection has nothing to do with the beginning of existence.
i must say your argument is incorrect. having studied astrophysics for many years, recent discoveries do not point towards any godlike 'anomalies' or gods at all. astrophysics points towards the beginnings of time having been started as a "white hole" originally containing all of matter/energy/dark matter/dark energy. not a being that said 'Poof! Everything is here now.'
There are some sensitive people on here. This is hilarious and totally worth the read!
Stop debating about who or what does or doesn't exist and enjoy the laugh. Sheesh. Things (the bible for example) only hold as much power as you give it! Smile, relax, and do your praying thing or whatever it is you like to do.
Kudos to you dude! Hahaha
whatever happened to freedom of religion?
Private property. That means freedom of religion can suck it.
this has nothing to do with with freedom of religion
Um will you guys be praying/having a theological discussion before or after you read things like He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just wondering.....would you people who are proclaiming the Lords name and the power of Jesus kindly post the names of the churches you go to on this page? I would like to email a copy of your statements along with this websites web address to your clergy. Im sure they would love to see what you read late at nite.
As stated earlier, this is pretty unoriginal. And it doesn't really make sense, because regardless of whether or not you believe in God many of the stories in the Bible are backed up by other reliable historical sources. So... even then it would most likely not go to fiction, because that would mean the whole thing or most was made up.
I turn the Pineapple Upsidedown cake upside down in the grocery store as well, we call it "A Reign of Terror" when we do it :)
Christians can suck it. We have to put up will your bull all the time, you deserve to be made fun of.
BIBLES ARE FULL OF SHIT!
Dude u rock! I agree with u all the way! So getting shirt and makin the text BIG. hahaha stupid Church! Nothing against Christianity, it's just that the churches f'ed it up. No idea what I'm talking about? Read the da Vince code, that's MY bible!
11:35 believes in unicorns, too.
Unicorns FTW! Haha.
wait.... unicorns aren't real? hahahahahahahahaha
This shit is the best on tfln.. Get this kid a trophy
That's the funnest thing ever. You rock.
This is from a movie. Not original
Whoever said "when the world ends in 2012 you are going to hell" is really an idiot lol, Christians believe no one truely knows when the world will end, only god. But, i doubt the world will end in 2012, and I doubt god exists.
The Christians on here act stangely......un-Christ like. If you really want atheists to believe you're so much better than them, you could start by staying off TFLN. Every post on this site is about "sin." don't fuck a bitch, demoralize her and then post a thread about fucking and demoralizing her, then tell OTHER ppl they're going to hell. Fucking hypocrites
thats not even funny.
and God's laughing at you because he knows where your going..
I still like this. Never actually seen anyone do it, so it's funny for me. I agree, all need to chill. This is website is clearly for entertainment, so like it or go elsewhere.
i think 1:23 is speaking in bullshit
get over it. its because Atheist's are ridiculed by your people for being wrong. i ask you, sir, why do YOU punish or ridicule people for what they believe in their hearts to be true? B-T-Dubbs...Mr. 215...are my hero
bash quote number 406373
do you people realize, in the bible two chicks have a threeway with their drunk dad to get pregnant?
u kno if u did this with whatever the muslim book is that people would shun u and noone would think it was funny. thats the shitty part of this
Religion is science friction
Saw this on QDB years ago. Yawn.
Okay if you're a dude i will totally be your friend and if ur a chick i would totally do you that was hilarious!
YES. That is AWESOME. And so fitting :)
Yeah I've heard it before too. Still hilarious and awesome. I wish people would really do that. Hmm...maybe I have new plans for tomorrow.
I'm praying to god for him to not reveal himself to me.
haha!! talk about the biggest lie of all mankind, "Christianity", haha. you have to be of a seriously weak mind to find your answers in that!
12:51 is smart :) i might do that
1:23 is quoting inherit the wind. get literate.
I've always wanted to do this. Bibles need to be in with the mythology books.
I have the same problem with people who call Sherwin-Williams (which is a paint store if you don't know) Sherman Williams. SO annoying.
1:52 there is very little in the bible that is backed up by historical accounts or whatever you said. the bible (okay, the new testament) is a bunch of stories that the people back then told for generations and then wrote down for the purpose of teaching lessons they believed to be essential. if they were able to rise from their graves and see us now, they'd be laughing hysterically at how literally the bible is translated.
Hahaha I'm going to do that!
not real, i have seen this on myspace.
i love u n wanna have ur babies.. ur the shit! ;-)
Yeah, uh, God isn't real, so, who cares?
Your fucked up
you are now my new hero! GREAT job!
You kick ass.
i can't believe it took like 100 posts for someone to say this was from bash
11:21...YOU are on this website, so, tool?
That's where they should be
wow you can't post the name of the quote site this was stolen from. Bash
"cut your kids throats"?? Well that's not a very godly thing to say... (now to the guy who did it): Dude. Fucking epic. You are my new hero.
so dont pray for them theyll be fine on their own they dont need your "god" to help them out when they clearly dont need or want or believe in it
you guys really need to chill out. all of you
let people believe what they want athiests stop trying to convert christians and christinas stop trying to convert athiests
anyone ever heard of the doctrine of maybe?
that's stolen from bash.org ... years ago!
I love how one person said "Science is bullshit" and "The big bang theory is fiction". Yeah because believing that the whole universe was created by some god who can control everything seems so much more realistic? This guy was just making a joke that in my opinion is funny. Now this board is arguing about what belief is right. I'm only 17 and I feel so sorry for most of these people who belief some of this
1:02 AM..........shut the fuck up. It's people like you and all the rest of your bible hugging friends that make this world such a shitty place to live. Get off your religious high horse, take the bible out of your ass (even though that's where it belongs what with all the shit that's in it) and learn how to laugh. Jesus Christ. Oh and by the way, god is laughing at your dumbass for being such an idiot
this is real... I know the girl that sent this text she did it even if it's been done before
Lololololololololololol...*brakes into tears from hystericts*
the bible has as much merit belonging in the non fiction area as little red riding hood does.
Hahaha a go in and play cetch with like three other people using one of the book stoppers they get sooooo pissed it's super fun haha
Lmfao, Thank you for making my week. To all of you people condemning this person, who the hell do you think you are? You're not god. For all you know (if "God" exists) hesheit has a sense of humor. In fact, I don't see how hesheit couldn't, I mean we exist right?
It's mocking God's Holy Word...
it's funny. everyone should just laugh and get over being physco bible lovers. I believe in god but I'm not preaching it. this is fricken hilarious I wanna do this
jesus you are so unoriginal.
are you talking to jesus? or are you talking to the guy who posted this? because now i'm all confused.
You're awesome!! I heard a women at work say 'I have god on my side' I replied 'and I have the Easter bunny'..
Felt bad though she was just a sweet old lady, it was just the first thing that went through my head.
I agree it was wrong because of how it affected the the employees... And christians probably would find this offensive seeing as they base a factual lifestyle on a potentially fictional book that may have been lost in translatation thousands of years ago. Survey says: this is one funny quote. I wonder if the author of this grabbed the koron too haha
I'm clapping right Now because I'm so proud
[insert forced laughter as 1980s-cartoon force-fed morals theme with begins and camera pans up and fades to black...roll credits]
I don't give a crap if it's fake. Just enjoy the humor or shrivled cunt.
How is saying "please go kill yourself" and "fuck you " very godly of you? If your gonna preach, then practice what you preach. You are horrible people. All religion is is a fucking cult. You don't even know that half of it.
@1:27 - The Bible does go against evolution you retard. You have no point, but since you believe you do, why don't you enlighten me? Oh, and I would suggest actually reading the Bible before attempting to respond.
SCIENCE ftw! thanks.
Did the same but was putting the DSM and all the other Psychology and self help books in the fiction section.
11:35 i love literate republicans. learn how to spell, thanks.
The bible is non fiction meaning it's real
OP was probably high so stop whining you evangelical nutjobs and go spread the love of JC somewhere else
I do that all the time!
This is an old, re-hashed quote. take it down.
If you are religious- why are you reading stuff from this website? It's the most "un-Christian" stuff next to porn that you could be doing online. It's all about texts "sinners" send.
well before there was a religious section ( and some book stores still do, including barnes and noble a few years ago) bibles were in the fiction section
hahahahahahaha I love it. Who the fuck cares if it is overdone??? It is still funny. Oh and all you bible lovers...what about "thou shall not judge"...i guess you will all join us in hell...all the good bands will be there anyway.
holy crap are you god? you responded with god-like speed
haha Jeremy...is that you, its your area code lmao, I love you
Haha holy shit this is hilarious
I'm Christian and I think it hilarious
all i gotta say is the mexican population is just getting way outta control.
thats the real issue here folks. lets grow up and face the FACTS.
christians make nice with the athiests
They kicked him out because no matter how much u zealot fucks hate on it, tere is a religious section in barnes and noblesand the bible is a religious book. No one Asked fucks if u believed in it or not and who's to say u can't believe in a mix of religion and science. And why do ppl always pick on Catholicism, there is more than one religion; dumbasses
It does "just happen". We just haven't figured it all out yet. O and with the creation of humans thing...I've got that routine down pretty solid I think (despite what the ladies say, heyo!)
For the record, It is not sold as fiction or non-fiction, but as religious texts, to negate this fiction/nonfiction debate altogether.
Please. Something like 98% of all known species on this earth, past and present, are extinct. That isn't even close to something that can be considered intelligent design.
damn. that 98% must have missed the boat. literally. jesus fucking christ! noah had one goddamn job and all he managed was 2%. what a fucking slacker
I LOVE YOU!
It's a matter of science, not belief. You can't simply say there's no godlike anomaly simply because you don't believe in a god. All it means is that it counters otherwise universally applicable logic. Mathematics and physics are the two purest sciences, and the origins of the universe, along with its nature as a singularity, defy even those.
The line between science and theology is actually rather thin, despite the impression that high school science classes give.
this is horrible! ugh!
it must be horrible to not have a sense of humor too....
Get a life. Pick on some other religion.
everyone on this site is a fucking tool.
you do realize that you just called yourself a tool right?
i believe this entire argument can be simplified.
we can't prove anything, we can't disprove anything. the only thing we can do is try to live in harmony with people who have different beliefs than ourselves.
Sweet biscuits! Nicely done!
Im a lesbian! Anyone wanna bitch about that too? Fuck.
Omg I love you... marry me
11:21.. JOIN THE CLUB!!
I'm still upset that they put my two bibles in fiction..."Alice in Wonderland" & "Peter Pan" at least Alice and Peter did'nt turn ladies into salt or knock off first born babies. I refuse to believe in a gfiff that's less human than I am.-Sherwin Williams & Mrs. Nobles
@11:52 It's spelled dumBass. As in, the joining of the words dumb and ass. You idiot.
Everyone has done this before...
Dude this would be funny if I hadn't seen it on someones myspace page in 8th grade... 7 fucking yrs ago!
I've heard this before, but it's still funny. Especially if someone actually tried it.
sounds like u were on a mission.
also something i would do
you really think this universe, this galaxy is the extent of things? We have no idea how deep the rabbit hole goes. To put it all on this human notion of god (and prob this christian god) is some crazy thinking. poor me? poor you. it's fun to learn about why/how things came about. just saying it's god is pretty boring dontchathink?
Exactly... The big bang is a theory "smart guy". Atleast science admits there are no facts. Try getting
the majority of closed minded Christians to admit there are no facts in the bible. .... DumbAss
Pay some respect asshole!
This a quote from a bumper sticker. You are a lame ass plagiarist......have fun in hell:)
Uhhh... this is fake. This is one of those things you see on tshirts and stuff. This kinda pisses me off that this is on here, but my funny one wasn't.
And 11:53- there's an old testament in there too ;)
please all of you "Christians" have no clue you all are brainwashed to belive in some stupid bullshit get a life and stop preaching no one gives a shiit
12:59, maybe he takes things with a grain of salt. Maybe he takes solace in believing these "joke-sters" are going to hell for their "blasphemy". Maybe you need to calm down about religion. People make fun of my beliefs all the time, and I don't care because people are entitled to their opinion. Chill out dude. Also, read a book about "science", just putting that out there...
that's fucking hilarious
And on the 7th day, god created Barnes and Nobles.(:
your my heroo!!! haha
Evan if it's fake and old, I still dig it.
This joke is older than Jesus. Still funny though.
dude. science for the fucking win. you are my new hero.
I would hire you. =]
The classic joke. Also spoiler alert JESUS DIES
awesome. been there and done it, except i put it in the children's literature section.
I believe in God. What I don't believe is having to live my life by him. I want to eat meat whenever the fuck I want, cus whenever the fuck I want, and basically do anything whenever the fuck I want. I'm sure he's too busy to worry over every little thing I do, otherwise my "prayers" wouldve been answered. Amen bitches. Love this text. I'm sure the bible is fictitious, and full of contradictions.
the "theory"of intelligent design makes me rotfl.
BRAVO! Makes me wonder when it finally WILL be categorized as such
wow...I never heard this one before...
9:45 probably posted this after getting her illegitimate children off to school, and after putting on her clothes that are made of a polyblend material. Did you have Red Lobster last night for dinner?
@ 1:16 - then why hasn't it "just happened" for forever? There would have had to have been a starting point (i.e. when GOD created life). Just saying.
The starting point is when a particle of matter traveling at almost the speed of light impacted a cloud of proteins, forming an amino acid, the basis of life. This can be proven by facts. Can you prove yours with facts?
This is a quote from something else... I think I saw it on my cousin's myspace page.
7:45 your a fucking dumbass. You can't defend religion if you apparently don't know shit about it
Well there's no proof that there Non-Fiction so you you were helping them out.
that was ignorant of you.
I love you
one word... OLD... and then three words. Stolen from bash
no 12:17 they do this BETWEEN jacking off to porn sessions not instead of
Chill people. I think I just might do that now. Just to fuck with you all because the bible IS fucking fiction and it really is pathetic that people read a book written by cavemen. Quite sad. And I have a question... Why is Jesus our "savior" when he's jewish? I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS CULT/RELIGION SHIT!!
damn you're dumb. Cavemen? both the Roman and Greek empires were before Jesus as in BC so were they cavemen? and they mean Jewish as in his ethnicity not his religion.
small correction, Judaism (jews) IS actually a religion
Christianity would still Jewish if we followed Mosaic Law.
Wooahh. i know the person that posted this. i have never have that happen before.
HAHA this is hilarious
12:25 its not bc they're saying it plural, its a possessive, and they aren't putting in the apostrophe. It sounds the same if it is grammatically correct or not. Chill.
Can u feel the burn! Lol luv it!
if u really did this ur my hero
What proof is there of god?
haha, hilarious. Don't give a shit if it's true or not. Its genius and I just might go do it myself. :)
You just made my day.
a good christian wouldnt be up this late god might think your doing something sinful
12:08 let ppl think what they want
I'm still laughing at this!
Regardless of whether or not you believe in god, you have to give the guy props for getting ALL of the bibles over to the fiction section. That's a lot of fucking bibles!
This may be an old quote but damn it's funny!
@ Jan 27th 9:02, amen brother
no matter where you put it people will find it... its tops the best seller book every year. you can knock the Bible all your want but it doesn't prove the facts that it is the BEST.
amen the bible spreads itself
That's where they belong!!
shit people calm down. no hell no magic. big bang theory asshole, pick up a textbook. all ive got to d say is id like to meet the smart motherfucker who was able to convience a population that there is a bearded man in the clouds that we must worship and starve ourselves for. no "man" can create matter if it's not there. keep your opinion to yourselves and I'll keep mine.
3:17 ifyou actually knew anything about evolution, you would realize how stupid you sound
What an idiot. Fucking stupid.
I believe in God and I in NO WAY force my beliefs on other people, or disrespect other peoples beliefs.. it's too personal. this is very disrespectful.
I would think the Same way if someone did that to any other religious book.
Wow @4:18. That is one of the most ignorant and stupid statements I've ever seen in my life.
Agreed with that dude
Leo ftw.. Animosity rips holes in your face.
fucking unknown error
why can't you post links? this quote is several years old
Go kill yourself and then burn in hell.
Here is what I find funny...
1) the discussion about this post has been going on for 5 months
2) this website is about funny texts...fucking, throwing up, cheating, booty calls, etc.
3) why are these defenders of the bible here anyway
Just my thoughts....
I agrre with # 1 & 2, for #3, we like our funny stuff too, we're all human, but we just acknowledge our 'bad behavior' if you want to call it that
That's an old recycled joke from some web site 8 years ago
fucking hillarious. I tried this and they caught me quickly. And all you religious people need to cool your shit. We have the right for opinions too!
Isn't this a quote from a movie?
I've honestly heard this like 100000000 times. way to go.
Much as I sympathize with the motives of the texter, I've also worked in a bookstore and I can assure you that on average at least half of the staff would like to do the same thing. But believe me, you're pissing them off far more than you would Christians, because corporate has a very different attitude.
9:45 how is it that you dont know the answers to your own questions yet give credit to some god for this. well i give credit to my dick, it started the universe. So following your logic, since you cant disprove it- it must be true. yay!!
this makes me proud to be Pennsylvanian...for once.
This one has already been done. It was on tfln like 3 months ago. Try and cone up with a real one next time!
Bible = bullshit
Lmfao soo I agree with what others said,
You're my HERO :) ahaha thats hilarious !
lmfao, this is by far my favorite yet.
You'll be laughing your ass off in hell...NOT!
As an ex-Barnes and Noble employee, I can state with certainty that bibles are filed with other religious books (like the Koran, say) in a "religion" section. The only stance this person took was one that would irritate the employees who had to move the books back to the "religion" section. Wow, what a blow for righteousness.
Hell doesn't exist so I doubt we athiests are goin anywhere
haha...what a silly thread. haha funny to think some people state this is against the law...umm what about the 1st amendment to the consitution- freedom of RELIGION. (or lack there of) Get over it...it is funny. Anyone who moves books is practicing their freedom of religion.. you don't like what you read...leave the site fools.
Religion is a cult. End of story. I just went to midnight mass on Xmas. Could stop laughing and telling my mom "cult. cult. cult."
wow this is trite and not funny.. cool you have that much time to move shit around in barnes and nobles, cool life you have lol
You are an inspiration to us all. Heading to Barnes and Noble now to do the very same.
People think christians are so stupid? science says that one time there was nothing. nothing at all. no mass or matter or anything. eventually the nothingness became so non-existent that the world appeared! magic! is it really that much easier to believe that than it is to believe in God? And all people commenting on how God kills people and destroys things have no clue what youre talking about. Read the Bible, yes the ENTIRE THING through. Understand it, then come argue with me about how the notion of
a creator doesnt make sense. youll find it impossible. sure, scoff at me for making this claim but if you have the confidence and gumption to actually take a step out of your retarded shell of atheism, then youll be proven wrong.
Do you believe in science? Do you believe in nuclear power? You split an atom by shooting a neutron at it and it heats up water, MAGIC! Earth came to be in pretty much the same way... God had nothing to do with it.
So, as a species, we haven't come along far enough to completely understand some part of this universe. The obvious answer then, in the mean time, is that an invisible man in the sky wielding divine power wished it all into creation. It couldn't possibly be that WE JUST DON'T KNOW YET what really happened. Religion is a fairy tale. You are suffering from the biggest mass delusion in history. Go see a doctor so he can prescribe you some common sense.
Superman... isn't real? (sob)
I HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE!
I'm pretty sure everyone who doesn't believe in god has done that before(:
"i don't understand people that bash love (in general). Non Christians bash Christians for their love of the word of their God. Christians bash Non Christians for their lack of faith. its a sick cycle resulting in misunderstanding and hatred. everyone wants to be heard, but no one is listening. Why can't people just be happy for the love that others experience instead of trying to break it?"
that doesnt happen because people are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling!
H a H
H a h a
H a h a h
H a h a h a !
2:58 I think you need to calm down just a little bit. To the OP: funny as hell dude haha
Hahaha I don't really have a stable religion but this is fucking funny. I wish there was a YouTube video for that!!! :D
OMFG ur my fucking hero!
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS JESUS/GOD.
GET OVER IT.
i'd go burn all the bibles at barnes n noble if i felt like going to jail.
Really y'all need to chill! Some believe, some dont, and some just don't give a shit. You don't have to debate all the time and talk shit. If u don't find this funny that's fine. If u do...right on!
Stop being idiots and go have fun with life!!
Btw funniest thing I've seen yet lol :D
stu 5 49 i wipe my ass with every religious text known to man
Whoever you are, I love you.
Ur a fucking moron. Prove that the bible is real.
It's cause your step mom is hot.
That's soo good!!!
This is hilarious and I want to be your friend
I did it...on my birthday. Best. Birthday. EVER.
You're a dick.
Just remember, every time you masterbate, Jesus kills a kitten. I love rattling the cage.
I will do this someday.
Hahaha... I've totally done this.
i doubt it since theres no such thing as god
And I stuk a dildo up my teachers butt
bash did this first. plz an hero
I don't know what people are insisting it's a quote.
People do this. It's mildly amusing. Book store workers get pissy.
YOU, sir....are god!
"You think that can just happen? There's no way."
Says who? Just cuz we don't understand how things work doesn't mean they're not natural.
I prefer to simply admit that I can't know absolute reality until/if I'm ever presented with the answer. *shrug*
I fail to recognize how God is fake - because science proves it? I understand the Bible is hard to believe - sometimes I struggle believing it, but I just can't believe that it was made up - too real for me, imo.
Albert Einsteins quote after someone asked him about Jesus "No myth can be filled with such life."
Ever watched Star Wars?
Do you even know Einstein's religious affiliation? Albert Einstein was also a brilliant philosopher aside from physicist. Perhaps he was gesturing to the notion that Jesus taught phenomenal moral standards about living a good life.
I saw this on a bumper sticker years ago... Yet it still cracks me up each time I read it. Well played.
Wow some retards are preaching on here rofl
awesome. those people have no sense of humor
omg, my friend did this. i swear to god. hahah. thats my area code and everything! hahahaahh
If you stand at one of those stores long enough you might see a employee do it. I have
God is real. i BELIEVE! i have faith! like everyone else on this site should...
Who are you to tell us how we should be?
Your fuking ratarded.
to all the people saying im praying for you
they obviously dont give a shit, so stop trying
i second August 12, 2009 6:19PM
I'm a believer but that's Hillarious lol
thats why its called FAITH.
there is no proof.
OMG i know someone who used to do this
Hahaha this is the only quote that made me laugh.
I think people should just chill out and think about this who is god have u ever seen him or is it a her no one knows is there a picture of him like there's is a picture of Jesus no so I doubt that Jesus is his son because there is no proof and it's not like they could make him take a DNA test so we will never know until we die I find it hard to believe when somme one so great as god could have a child
Haha I need to do that shit
The bible is the most shoplifted book... seriously
@ 12:55, God knows exactly who you are and who I am, and He knows that I am talking about you to Him when I pray for you.
Please tell me that someone screenied it when it hit 666 Good Nights
215!!! i wonder if this is from the one near oxford valley mall hes talkin bout
June 24, 2009 1:46AM, AMEN
June 24, 2009 12:13PM, you just used your God's name in vain and then said he rocks. Just another example of the hypocrisy of Christians. Thanks for that.
How can we grow if we are living in the past?
Where progression is condemned and life is only just a path
To an unknown unreal existence
Better yet how can anyone believe it?
You told me that Jesus loves us all but you sleep on the streets.
You pray to god every night but your family can't eat
I know that your aren't stupid, so what are you doing?
hero indeed. this is one of the "texts" that made me finally come check out this site
Hahaha funniest one so far haha they can't do that.
You're a fucking moron just plain and simple. Please do the world a favor and sit yo simple ass down!!!!
That way it gets out of the way for you to continue worshiping your invisible sky man. OOOOOOOOh, Sky MAN!!! Who is not Thor god of thunder, nor Odin, nor Vecna, nor Horus, nor Set, but is TOTALLY way more real then all those other pussies. \n\n...because he speaks to meeeeeeeeeee
This is a joke that has been around a long while.
definitely not original..
I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES
This is the fucking best
Um. It's BarnEs and Noble, not Barns and Nobles. Dumass.
Freaking funny and I love the bible lol
@12:57, I was referring to the person who said that they "will crucify Him again"
Not to go all smart ass but christians belive the bible is a religious book not a historical book so your not wrong to put it in the fiction section
The Bible is A fiction book. It tells stories about been good and blablabla.
So the only thing I really want to say is:
FUCK YOU STUPID ASSHOLES FROM CHURCH!
Respect is exactly what you guys need.
oh my god !
that's amazing !
i wanna do thatt.
Nice, you give those inbred hicks what they deserve
You are my new favorite person!
That is awesome,... LOL!!
Something that counters otherwise universally applicable logic IS just an anomaly, there's nothing godlike about it, regardless of beliefs. And we're making progress in understanding these things. One day we will just laugh at this as yet another thing attributed to "god" because of a lack of knowledge on the subject.
That was just too far.\n\nIt's great and all you don't believe in God, but don't be a dick about it. And for anyone who says something along the lines of, "Well, Christians are the ones always harping on us," just STFU. It's not all of them. And you don't need to be a hypocrite.\n\nDumbasses.
Fuck all you bible reading dipshits. i'm tired of you getting offended when someone tells the truth about your bullshit religion. in reality, religion, especially christianity has been used since it's beginning to either gain wealth or control people. For thousands of years people have gone to war and killed each other because of what they're too stupid to understand. They say that they do it for god, but they do it for power. you people are hypocritical assholes. you waste your lives, you are
This was me...
Well when the whole thing ends in 2012, you, my friend will be sent straight to hell.
Give us proof on both accounts
To feb 11at 7:41, I know it's from carlin, but that doesn't make it untrue :)
i think this was absolutely great. the christian religion is built on sledging other religions, it's about time someone got back at them. i really have to try this sometime :)
Omg I fuckin love you best one ever!
I hate u fuckin atheists who think u know everything what is so bad about believing in an afterlife and supernatural being? What's wuld u rather look forward to rotting in the ground forever or an afterlife
I LOVE you!!!!!
Some one please make this a bumper sticker! Fucking funny!
Funny as hell (no pun intended) but horrible at the same time.
You should of put them right next to the three lil pigs and humpty dumpty.
6.19 it's filled with such life because jesus did exist, he just wasn't holy.
I think it would be cool to edit a bible and put it back haha
or write your own version and make copies and throw them in with the regular bibles hahaha
I ASSFUCKED JESUS. THEN I JIZZED ON HIS SLUTTY MOM'S FACE.
Virgin birth? How dumb can Christians get?!
You. Are. My. Hero.
I do this all the time! Score! I also put anything with the wod 'sex' on the binding in the kids section.... 'mommy what's tha Kama sutra???' bwahahahaha!!! As a great Russian once said: Religion is the opiate of the masses.
Actually, I believe Karl Marx said that. He was German
hahahahaha so fuckin funny
God is awsome
I love the Bible and the truth that it holds <3 <3
I've done this a couple of times. never been kicked out, but once the clerk started helping me.
this is definitely on an icon... how original...
perhaps the fact that you're illiterate had something to do with it, too?
There is nothing funny about the bible;; this should be in the "going to hell" section!
This entire site should be in the "going to hell" section
Fuckin love atheists
who ever you are....that made me laugh so hard and sounded like something i would love to do...you made my day
Wonderful...I would try it
Try that with the Qur'an
hahahahhah you use myspace.
@12:47 I'm praying for you and I hope God reveals Himself to you in a way that you can't deny
Jan 3 300am that is concidred protesting and barnes and nobel is private property he can be thrown in jail dumb ass
i hate to bust everyones bubble...but the most arguable fact is that we will NEVER know whether god exists or not. sorry to all who cry because of this. and sorry to all who fail to grasp and understand this. we will all be long gone before humans get anywhere closer to an answer.
I have a rock to sell you. It keeps away tigers.
if this is legit.. you are amazing
I saw this many years ago on a website for IRC chats... I would post link, but it won't let me.
Wait, no, you're just a juvenile dick
Horrble!!!!! Hilarious but horrible!
I believ in god and go to church every week and this is HILARIOUS
Alright, this was a bumper sticker on facebook, like... when bumper stickers on facebook were cool.
For all christan people here is what the bible is... It's was made by people to help us in our daily lifes. What I mean by that is they were stories to teach us how to be nice but some ppl took it literaly....
Lolz good on this person
Hilarious!!! I'm still trying to breathe.... LOL..... LOL!!!
All I can say is I'll pray for you, and I hope one day you can see what you're missing by not having a relationship with God.
I wish I could put all 25,000 people that have read this into one giant room and watch them fight to the death. By the way, you won't go to Heaven.
12:13, calm down. God SUCKS ass, and it's high time people point it out.
Sounds like something my sister would do...
Beast mode my friend.
have fun in hell
That is amazing
Haaaahahah I can totally see myself doing that
Isn't that a Stephen Wright joke? Lame!
Agreed with 4:43PM, HAIL SATAN!
oh boy, hahahahaha, this is hilarious, 1) good idea 2) everyone needs to lighten the eff up 3) science will more than likely prevail...
Ummmmm can I meet you cuz you are the love of my life??
Call 503-252-5279 for a good time! Ask for
Classic. Well done.
how about everyone chills out. there's not enough proof to prove or deny the existence of God. it's all about faith, so whether you have it or not doesn't mean you have the right to be a bitch to the other.
this is one of the best things i've seen
yeah, this is a bumper sticker on facebook. but its still hilarious. my step mom and i do this every time we go into a book store. never been kicked out though. apparently we arent doing our job well enough... : /
hahahahahahahhahahah, first off, to the guy who said burn the books, i think that resembles hitler a little...im christian,and this shit is fuckin hilarious, and anyone who thinks it isnt is a retard...to the people arguing, kill yourselves, please
you're a snot nosed coward punk. did u move the korans as well? of course not. fear of an internet seperation of your head from your body i guess. christians and jews dont get ass red assed about blasphemy
Awesome! Great idea! And religious people: chill the fuck out...
Filed under: going to hell
Um. It's not dumass, it's dumbass. Dumbass!
this is seriously one of the greatest thing i have ever heard!
Thank god SOMEBODY finally did that. Seriously, it's about time.
Hahah I fucking love this, even though I'm a Christian.
Epic... Fucking epic
Text 831 920 8459 for a steamy night
haha omfg this is such a brilliant thing to do
@ 1:04 while I find this hilarious, I think its bullshit that you think that only people fix things. People like you are the reason our world is so shitty sometimes.
Let people believe what they want. I believe your. Piece of shit, should I chase you with a popper scooper?
i didnt know they sold bibles in stores
Yea, I'm pretty sure i saw this guy there...I was busy putting Darwin's The Origin of Species in the same section
UGH. No, you didn't. This is suchhhh an old quote.
This made me laugh harder than anything I've read here before.\n\n@Anonymous: I used to be a Christian. I HAVE read the Bible many many times. After 14 wasted years, I can now, at the age of 35, tell you the Bible belongs with the novels.
Ha! You high and mighty Christians are so hypocritical...I'm sure the people who thought this was messed up and "unholy" probably give mad props to the guys who talk about "banging girls doggy style because they are too ugly to look at" if this tiny joke offends you...you should probably reconsider visiting ythis site and go back to church with you moron followers...
Your so going to hell
Well played my friend well played..:s
Omg freaking hilarious XD
This is the funniest one easily
Lmao thats something i would do good work=D
i hate christians.. more specifically ignorant ones. &believe me, living is a small rural midwest town i see tons of them. when i hear the word chistian it brings to mind the people in my local coffeeshop i over hear talking about obama as the anti-christ & how he was going to "turn the whole country muslim".
&ppl saying we need seperation of church&state, i totes agree.
FUNNIEST FUCKING THING IVE EVER HEARD...who ever you are marry me...immediatly
is it really sold as non-fiction? like in the south?
Been there, done that!
Christianity is fucken stupid... I find it hilarious that mary claimed a virgin birth. She's just a stupid woman who got knocked up, and jesus was a stoner
There is alot more proof of evolution than there is the bible!
evolution supports the bible, dumbass.
I pray for all u people that are dissen us christans
I respect you so much.
@ 12:48, praying for you too.
What a fucking dick why the fuck would u do that well I'm going to be laughing at ur ass when ur burning in he'll and I will be in a perfect life in heaven u fuckin dick.
"Thou shall not judge" *ahem*
That's so freaking funny, I love how all of these super religious people are poping up spouting religious crap. Why are they even on this site? It's so imoral just reading is a sin . . .
I went to the mall and did this after I read it. So funnyy!
My personal belief is that whats the harm in believing in god? He gives hope. And if hes real and you believe you go to heaven. If hes real and you dont you go to hell. If hes not real but you stull believed, at least you didnt chance it.
This IS funny. In no way disrespectful.
An offended "Christian" on TFLN? That is also funny. I hope ur god is watching u read these.
dont to the done
do the undone
stop trying to convert us all
god wont smite you if your not a missionary
The Christians making these comments about people going to hell are the ones who make people hate the Christian faith. I'm a Christian. I find this funny. I don't hate people who don't believe the same things I do. Being a Christian is being humble and loving God and your fellow man. Try doing that instead of trying to scare people into religion.
christians: go look up the evolution of religions, mainly christianity and shut the fuck up. religions have been used for thousands of years to explain the unexplainable. ex what's above the clouds, why the sun "rises" and "falls". if you want to believe in mythical creatures like god that's fine, but stop forcing your beliefs on the rest of us
religion is for shtoopid fucks with shitty lives.
This was funny the first time I read it on the interwebs... but after seeing it for the hundredth by the hundredth person... not so much.
I want to marry this person.
Hahaha! I should so do that!!!
Following in your example I went up to the manager of a barnes and noble and asked him where the bibles were. He takes me to them and I start looking around after I thank him. After moving all the bibles to the childrens fiction area. I move a safe distance away to a reading area. A few minutes later I hear a roaring laugh break through the elevator music from near the bibles. Then I hear the manager yell "touché".
This post really wasn't funny at all. It's old and stupid. And it has nothing to do with the "Christianity is fiction" thing, even though I'm a "Christian." It has to do with the fact that it's immature and STUPID. And really dumb. And not something people would think of when they're actually fucked up. It's something people do to be bitches and spite others when they're mad.
Besides, moving all the books by hand is way too much fucking work. Just move the signs over the shelves. Much quicker.
I'll first start by saying that I am a Christian and extremely proud of it. For those that want to attack mine and fellow Christians' faith, I just want you to know that we will continue to pray for you. For the other Christians who said something and stood up for our faith: thank you. GOD bless you all and I hope you can find other ways to have fun rather than support stupid ideas such as this.
Hahahahaha, you woke up this morning afraid of Anubis, too? Try praying to him, he actually does shit, and he's not a crazy vengeful mofo.\n\nWaste your time praying, I'll actually look to SCIENCE, because it works, bitches.
lol, loved it even if it wasnt true. i've always wanted to do this but i've been too scared xD.
You are awesome!!! You've done your good deed
Lol got a gooooood laugh outta that one!!!
Way to insult something just because you don't believe in it. Get a life you fucking loser. All you "awesome" people who think insuting religion is funny need to be more original. Old shit is old.
Wow, I never knew so many people read this, until I saw 1,300+ comments.
I work ar barnes and nobles, (and im not christain, im atheist) and just want to say, F**K you. we dont put it in a nonfiction section, its in the religious section, like all the other religious texts. did you move the koran or the torah? no. why not? because you're a conformist d**chebag who wastes time doing nothing but being a d*ck because you think its funny. its not funny, it makes someone have to waste an hour of the day making sure every books back exactly in the spot it needs to go, and
possibly keep everyone there working late. What if that person has a kid at home, and a second job and needs to go there to right afterwards. Now shes late and it was the last straw, so now she's fired. Now she doesn't have enough money to say for heat. Her baby gets sick and dies because its winter and s/he's freezing. the baby gets pneumonia and dies. Yes, you just killed a baby.
Frankly we should just burn all of those books. Hate propaganda one and all. Sickening that these horrible books are considered holy or virtuous.
funny, but you're a bit of a douche
Everybody on this is pathetic actually. Because half of you believe it and the other half is dedicated to religion. The first is sad because this is COMPLETE bullshit, and straight off a bumper sticker. The second is almost worse because if you're so insanely religious, YOU SHOULDN'T BE ON THIS SITE. Most of these people are underage and doing illegal shit. Get over yourself.
I love it when people preach preach preach the bible and the Christian way yet they will get drunk, have pre-martial sex, use birth control, and take the lord's name in vain - and that's just a typical thursday night. also some of the women are actually literate...i know jesus hates that
Omg that's soooo funny!!
2:04 suk me off you sinner. I'm gonna fukstart your skull with my cock of righteousness! Amen!
All you religious fucks need to find something better to do. Got waste some more of your life in church and leave us alone. WTF are you doing on here anyways.
I think I'm in love...
Wow haven't heard that one before
wait, it was in the non-fiction section before?
Almost peed myself when I read this!!!!
What kinds of douche bags would do this?
6:52 there's no need to get all serious. obviously we all know that religious text belongs in their own section labeled "RELIGION". you probably didn't understand this text did you. dumbass.
All the thumpers put thumbs down. Fools.
I work at a bookstore. We don't stock a lot of bibles. If they were moved to the fiction section I think I'd leave them there. There's as much proof in either direction. Also I feel like if I whined every time I saw something I disagreed with on this site I would be typing for months. Best to keep away from religion so I don't have some ideals that belong to someone else to defend. Anonymously. Because that's just gosh darn ridiculous.
I'm not christian and am offended the bible is kept in such close proximity to non-fiction books, they belong in christian bookstores.
i was gonna say that! but it wouldn't let me post. lame.
A couple of things. people who whine about Christian intolerance are just as intolerant as the supposed Christians. The comments on here do not show toleration, just provoking and discrimination. The second is that the bible is a very reliable book that historians use today.\nFor the people who still refuse to believe that the bible is non-fiction, tell me what proof do you have?\n\nAs for Jesus he was really from god, that should not be the debate, it is if that god, an all powerful being was aware of
The earth isn't 7000 years old...
the fact that it says the earth was created on the 3rd day... yet days are measured by the earths rotation around the sun. how were there days when the earth didnt exist?
evolution is only a theory. kinda like gravity
That's flipping AWESOME
Wow i'm Christian but that is definitely for the
I'm a string Christian and this should offend me but it's fucking awesome I mean cone on people have a sense of humor!!!
This is stupid I heArd this one before
Ahah funny shit funny shit
Epic win, epic win, epic win!
Win. Also, Jesus saves...and takes half damage.
@1:05, I'm not a dude...and sure I'll pray for you.
You are an exellent role model. And for all those snooty Christians who posetd hate comments, you people need to stop being so judgemental. "god" isn't a dude in the sky.
Idiot below me it's a fiction book none of it has been even remotly proven
Thats fuckin hilarious!
haha you're going to hell now
No such thing as "god"=no such thing as "god"like anomaly, it's just an anomaly. Like I said, things we don't understand are always attributed to "god". This is no different. Once we evolve a bit further and grasp a better understanding of the conception and growth of our universe(which we are on our way towards), we will then laugh at that anomaly ever being thought to involve "god". Nice try though.
You, my friend, are awesome. I've started doing something similar - attaching legs to Jesus fish :D
You shouldve just filled the books with anthrax, that would show em
Haaaaaa it's ok I'm a Jew too :)
That is the funniest thing I've heard of in a while
They sell bibles their?
Fake. Heard it before
Nice man. Taking one for the team ha
No one really gives a shit if you keep your opinions to yourself. If you don't like what people are writing here, then go look at another site. Maybe something more suited to you being a huge bitch.
how do you know its fake?
i find it hilarious!
not sure if its old...but even if it is..lol I havent heard it..and its HILARIOUS...i just nodded my head like *hellll yeaaa*
lmao that's great!
why hasn't what "just happened" for forever? what the hell (ha) are you trying to ask?
Greatest thing I've ever heard. Period
Maybe he did and found all the contradictions and philosophical bullshit, ever think about that?
ahhahahaha funniest thing i've seen all day
That is pretty Funny, I'm gonna do it too! Lol
absolutely hilarious beyond belief
so all the people who say a christian person on here defending his/her beliefs is trying to convert you....arent the people talking about how God isnt real trying to convert me and the rest of the christians? seriouslys some people should think before they start talking or inthis case typing...ignorant dumbasses...
wow i got kicked out of brookstone for having too much fun :P
2:44AM Knows what's up.
Hehe. I tried that and all that happened was that I got a bad stare from some nun. I told her that women sinned first so don't look at me like that
All of you that are bitching about about this are
retarded. I was raised catholic and went to catholic school, the whole nine yards. But this is still hilarious.
Hilarious. And people need to stop being little douchebags and stop being so sensitive about this. It's a joke; laugh damn it!
i don't understand people that bash love (in general). Non Christians bash Christians for their love of the word of their God. Christians bash Non Christians for their lack of faith. its a sick cycle resulting in misunderstanding and hatred. everyone wants to be heard, but no one is listening. Why can't people just be happy for the love that others experience instead of trying to break it?
All these people complaining need to stfu anyway why r u readin tfln if ur such a good god loving Christian
Absolute legand.... That's were I would have looked. In my opinion the snake was a mistake.
wow this is um really gross
Who hasn't done this? Honestly.
Lmao! I should do that!
Your fuckin rad!
Rock on so true I'm agnostic.
Why do we punish or ridicule people for what they believe in their hearts to be true?I am a firm believer in God and I am also a christian but i don't brag about being right.I beleive what I believe and you believe what you believe...why must it always be about what or who is wrong or right?
This is my favorite text EVAH!!!!!!! Also, I've been an atheist since 6th grade
Originality please? Don't use texts that have been used before. Ugh
I love tolerent liberals
Yup I need a proof of purchace
Piss that's what I have to say
Your my hero that's some funny shit
THAT IS AWESOME dump a steaming pile on my chest PLEASE
unoriginal, lame, booooooring. I think it might have been funny in 1985
i know the person who did this
:D You are my new idol
I'm catholic and I thought it was halarious
iv decided thisbis my favorite TFLN\ncongrats
It is fiction. Good for you!
Yea where it belongs
I lol'ed so loud when I read this
Lol this just made my day
7:09, you are the type that we don't have a problem with, if you want to believe in god and the bible being real then go ahead. It is the people who try to claim that we HAVE to believe in it and if not we are wrong and all this and push it on us and our lives. I am speaking from myself I have no problem in what religion you want to believe in but the moment you attempt to force it on me and tell me I am wrong is the moment I show all the holes in your beliefs.
I know that barnes and noble and thats funny as fuck
I LOVE you hahahahaha
Fuck yes!!!!! Amazing! Who ever u r i loove u hahahH
Christians try to convert Atheists because they love and care about them and don't want then to go to hell. that's selfless.
why do Atheists try to convert Christians?
i agree with 12:21 this is kinda ridiculous
honestly, whether or not the person did it is irrelevant, all that matters is that the damn hilarious.
You can't see me but I'm bowing down to you that's the funniest thing I have ever heard!!
The only reason this post made the top because of all the replies arguing with each other about your religion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your a fucking idiot. they should of kicked your ass too.
Omg this is the funniest one ROFLCOPTER
I used to do this all the time haha
Dude this is like the oldest fucking joke ever, it wasn't even funny the first time, and it had nothing to do with being religious or not religious, it's just...not funny. And severely over-done.
Lol, so the normal people understand this
Argument I have made a visual aid!
Annoying. Why r they. Annoying.
This is hilarious. I love being god free
His eternal love has bred and epidemic of hate.
Killed off our free will and replaced it with fate
Until our seeds are born unpoisoned and uncontaminated
Future generations will only know miseducation
It's a scary situation when it's captured most of the entire fucking nation.
aww sorry!!! but really that is bad to do....it is really funny...but some ppl actually are strong believers...and it would have hurt them to see you do that...
To settle this im catholic n am a loyal follwer n i can tell u that the bible is made up storys to help teach young kids n sumtimes to keep older people on the rite track
Honestly, I'm Christian, and I laughed pretty hard at this
F*** u god is my hero u stupid loser
How stupid are you? xD
Ita not a fake who ever postes this is a douchbag
I once stated "I needed to read up on my mythology, guess I'll pick up the bible"......kudos
We need to hang out lmao, I idol u
For all the christians out there: Imagine you weren't spoon fed the bible growing up, how ridiculous would it sound? It'd sound like a fictional book, hence this text.
Clever but not funny
I love it!...
Kinda immature dude... You know they still cnt prove evolution, so I guess it's fiction.
At least evolution makes sense
If going to hell for laughing at this is wrong, I most certainly refuse to be right.
This has been posted else wear. I've seen this in other places and its always a differant place to
i'm posting this in the church bulliton, to pray for everyone who laughed at this.
2:41PM You're a moron if you do not understand the semantics.
I believe in god and I still think this is halarious.
Haha FUCK YEAH!
It's funny because if you read the bible, there are more contradictions to fucking count. But it's dumb as fuck regardless.
Hahahaha! Thats where a book of fairytales belongs.
wow, get a life. and this has been redone over and over, it's nothing new..
Obviously fiction. It says the world started 6000 years ago, you can disprove that very fact by just looking at the starts, the light from some of which has been traveling for longer than the 'christian' world has existed
It also says that time to us and time to God are two entirely different numbers. Evolution backs up the Bible.
Bahahahahaha this is AWESOME, best TFLN ever
This is a win. There has never been a win like this. I owe this person a few beers.
Your kinda sick
At least OP has some sort of cognitive faculties. You're obviously stuck in the Bronze Age with that piece of trash literature you call holy.
Fuck you you stupid athiest piece of shit
Even if you are religious you have to laugh at that hahahahah
November 18, 2009 2:11PM
wow, respect is what YOU need. hypocrite.
12:48- Really, a crutch?! We ALL believe SOMETHING. You may choose not to believe in God. Not seeing is believing and there's nothing wrong with it. I dont care if you dont believe in God- that's your choice. Why cant people stop bashing others on here? Let people believe what they want. This is ridiculous.
its funny bc god is fake
I've done this before but I put a bunch of the "sex bibles" in the religion section.
Shut the fuck up how were u born then?
Ur messed up
Lol best one here
FYI you are my hero
I'm a christian and this really saddens my heart...you have no idea
That's stupid. Grow up!
jackass... you don't have to believe, at least have respect
Y does everybody get so mad? We have no proof the bible should go in the relious section it just depends what you believe
What all you religious freaks don't relise is this guy is probably stoned as FUCK!
That is absolutly amazing
I don't care how anti religious this is. It's fuckin hilarious
even if this is fake. Its still fucking ace! And for all you people citing the Ra and Zeitgeist religion shit, you are morons. You don't need to see a similarity between religions to know its all hateful, Lord of the Rings fantasy BS anyways. OHHH WOW I FOUND A CONNECTION..MUST BE FAKEZ... no, its pretty obvious to begin with
Fuck man i so fucking agree freat job!!! !:)
Haahaha dats where I wrk data too funny
to everyone that keeps saying it is fake and stolen and old......whether it is or not.....this person still could have done it and then texted someone.....and then it ended up on here and it's funny......
Why youre a loser. Who does that
It's been posted in many places because it's classic. I too gave done it, but more successfully and dicreetly. I got the whole section emptied out, safe for the Jefferson Bible, which contains only direct quotes of Jesus. Oh yeah baby, oh yeah.
ahahahhaha i almost peed myself laughing, i can so see someone doing this
Old quote from a long time ago well\nBefore tfln was invented.\nSo fake.
I am very tired of everyone that is highly religious calling those of us who do not believe in "God" an Athiest. There are those of us who have our own beliefs and will not "burn in hell" for believing our own ways because we do not believe in hell; that's all of you. \n\nIn my own personal beliefs the universe and nature are the higher power. \n\nI do find what you did to be highly entertaining.
Kinda like watching book of Eli...
Your a bitch bible is all truth!
Funny... Kinda. Bit not really.
"When Christians and Pagans sit together, only pumpkin pies are burning."
not quite sure what it means, but i read it on the bathroom wall the other day while i took a shit. the only thing i like more than taking a dump is reading the stall wall while i take a dump...
This sounds a lot like me.
Sounds like something I did once
AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME
Listen to me all athiets- say ur right ok u die and turn into dust hurray im dust! - say im right and wen i die im going to a place of peace happiness and God- THE Kingdom of God dust or riches in gold and praise to Almighty God
Hey "Christianityflies". You just commented your self!!! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!!!!! Ha ha If ya don't like what ya read we don't give a bloody shit.
it should be 'the science fiction section'
why? science has nothing to do with this.
Ps there's. No evidence that proves that god does not exist, likewise I can't prove that faries and lepricans don't sodomize your mother with unicorn horns. Moral of this story the bible is a fairytale nothing more.
Yeah ok a lot of you have heard this before, STFU. No one cares. It is a funny text. If it was fake, yeah it's still a funny text. And I am a christian person and I am not offended. So if you are, STFU! haha It's just meant to be funny!!! (And did you ever think that some people might not believe exactly the same thing you do and that pushing your ideas and beliefs on them just pisses them off and makes them push away!!!)
Hahaha! Take THAT Christian fundementalists! Epic win
This is awesome I love it :))
I know the guy that posted this. Whether he stole the idea or not, he really did it.
That's why he put it in the fiction section dumbass because it's not real.
Ok firs of all dude I love you and I must try that myself
Second for the lesser half of humanity that thinks t that that is wrong you have my pity the bible is lies thought up by some drunk thousands of years ago and if you had actually read it through like I had you would realise that even the holy book is self contradictory get over it
10/5 2:23- 'not to judge' huh? Though you people judge gays and anyone who doesn't agree with your puritanical views. Good job at creating most of the reasons for wars. And people wonder why I won't believe in an out dated book with one dimensional characters.
Most of these comments are not worth reading. There is major ignorance on both sides.
Your an 4uckin idiot
I did the same thing!
okay, all of the self-righteous fuckers who believe in god, this website wasn't made for you. let all us devil worshipers laugh in peace, and get off the horse you rode in on.
Your a god.
no matter how many times someone does/says this, it will always be funny
I love you.
Jeez Christians have sticks up their asses
hahahahhahaha good call!
9:36 dude, some people are hateful and atheists are just more debate-y so I think your getting debating and hating mixed up
I'm so glad I stopped going to church in 3rd grade
why is god capitalized as GOD in every post by someone who is upset by a little humor? if you're going to be the grammar police it is either god if you are referring to any of the multitude of "gods" humans believe in or God if you believe that to be a proper name
I for one think this is a great idea even if its not original, if you don't like it just ignore the post and leave it for the "sinners" to enjoy
you are my hero.
Yeah well maybe your life should be filed in the fiction section, you're a damn idiot. Ever heard of karma? Dumb ass.
Your going to hell just thought Id warn you bout that bitch
Just becuz he did that doesn't mean he's athiest y! Hello there's suchh thing as having a sense of humor ! Yeahh I've read the bible and yeahh I belive in god . But I don't belive everything the bible says ! And don't take everything so seriously ! It's like wthh ? He was having a little funn YOUR BOT GOING TO HELL FOR SWITCHING BOOKS FROM ONE SECTION TO THE OTHER ! Bunchh Of Speddas!
As a Christian I can still find the humor behind this deed. Well played sir!
Feb. 8 9:38 pm... What a Christian thing to say. Hypocrite. Bible is fake. Fairytale bulkshit to try and control the masses. Keep women down. Bible is fake... Jesus told me so
Hahaha omg that's fucking awsome dude. Gotta love you for that!!! Amen
Why did you u get kicked out you did them a favor it could never rain for 40 days and 40 nights not even by the hand of god
I love this..... It's the best thing I have ever read!
I'm ready when he is.
For the rude atheists on this thing who are bashing God and Christians:If you dont believe in Him than; your loss. But it doesnt mean you have the right to say the horrible things you all are saying on this thing. We arent bashing you for being atheists so why bash us for believing in God!!! Learn some freakin respect..
Instantly became my best friend
ive heard this before, im surprised it made it on the site. not super original.
I was really sad when I was six and it turned out that the spider that bit me didn't turn me into spiderman
Lol Im gonna do that now
That's pretty funny shit, but all I can say is God bless you.
Dude, I don't even give a fuck. I definitely believe in evolution, but I believe in the bible too. For you dumbasses who say that the bible says evolution is wrong, or say that evolution goes against the bible, maybe you're right, because evidently, your brain never evolved beyond a monkey. And if you don't understand my point, tell me so, and I will be happy to explain it
ill pray for you.
One Word:HaHaHa!!!!!!!!(I have no friends) (weep)
OH MY GOD YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND
wow, if this guy is you people's hero you are pretty pathetic...
I'm gonna say christianity ties with scientology for being the dumbest religion ever. You dumb fucks have been repressing other religions and forcing it on other peoples for centuries!!! And you get all pissy when someone puts you're stupid bible in the fiction section...its times like this when i'm proud to be hindu/agnostic
I love you. You are officialy my new hero bro
hey 1:13. you also pray for me. I think if i get enough people praying for me, god will think i'm a somebody
Also, I assume (or hope) everyone who has positive comments for this post has the T.I.N.G (There Is No God) app. Truly a MUST HAVE!
Haha epic much
Anyone who belives in the bible is fucking ignorant
Haahahahahahaha! That's the funniest thing I have ever heard!
THIS IS MY ALL TIME FAVORITE tfln ahah
your my hero
Comments r for bonerz
Hahahahaha???!!! (I love pancakes)
NICE!\n\n I think you would be my best friend.
Hahaha I got kicked out of there once for yelling go to he'll in the bible section
You and I would get along
11:38 It\s clever and I find it hilarious every time. I work at a bookstore too.
Probably one of my favourites hahahahah!
not funny. actually youre a fucking idiot. get a life rectum romper
Haha epic fuck religion that's for people who need to be told their opinion no way some dude created people... It should for sure be in fiction
you're high and this is the smartest thing you could come up with?
if you actually read the bible you'll know it's not fiction.
YOU ARE MY HERO I LOVE THIS AND U I WANT TO DO THIS
Best thing ever!
Don't hate just cuz this guy is right. It certainly doesn't belong in the non-fiction section.
HAHAHAHA WOW....love all you haters that had to say Catholics? Who cares what religion you are. Y'all have no right to criticize my religion or anyone else that is Catholic. Catholics don't say anything about y'all? So why don't you all go find something better to do that talk smack about my religion. please & thanks.
Aww man this one is a favorite
It's Revealation, no S god boy!
Go to hell; better yet.. Go to church!
This is so super awesome. I'm gonna have to try that.
I LOVE YOU!!!! I will do this in all of my local bookstores!!!!!
it's funny but I think it's dumb because I believe in. God it's the only wayu won't go to hell but y'all wouldn't know tht
why is it that you christian people believe that atheists don't "know" about jesus and his love or "know" about going to hell. Of course we do. We learned about jesus and moses and the amazing noah and jonah and job and john and mary and sara and the three wise men just like you did. The only difference is we decided to to play make believe and you didn't.
like i haven't heard this one before....
All these athiests are dicks believe what u want idc but stop bein a dbag and knocking on everyone else like ur better than everyone
Atheism is a mirror of religion in the certainty it claims. Nobody fucking knows the answers
Science, it works bitches!
how is that funny...some1 plz explain to me....
uuugh you people exhaust me...point is all of you are just like me...more than likely naked in bed at 12:30 at night trying to laugh...so laugh already. Doesn't really matter what we believe, if you laughed at most of these or any it means something you think is funny will offend someone.
this is amazing. I don't care if it's an old quote or not lol
@anonymous \nAnyone who acts that way or even remotely close isn't a Christian. More like a faker. \n\nI'm a Christian and I love this submission because it's hilarious, if I seen this in a book store I would laugh. So if people get offended and act all holier than thou, just know that they aren't Christians. I hate people like that.
hahaha ohh fucking god i love you philadelphia
I feel bad for you atheists I will pray for you so you don't burn in hell
roflmao dont give me any ideas..
What is? What post are you refering to?
because it couldn't just be that some people respect the religion of Christianity.
and tired employees who have to deal with the shenanigans and ignorance..
but you're right, those people, with their horrendous motives of peace and order are the one's causing the drama.
I went to the di and did this nobody noticed until some Christians walked by. The they yelled at the manager
12:34 ur going to hellllll
Haha nice. That's where I'd put em too.
God or not you fools are wasting your time you arogant bastard...
why are atheists so hateful?
Sometimes you've gotta fight fire with fire. How much hatefulness do you think atheists are given on a regular basis?
Darwin bless you. haha
um...you guys do realize that "bible" and "new testament" arent the same thing, right?
cuz all the religious bullshit gets pulled into politics
leave the gays alone, and get rid of creationism in schools
if you can be content to believe in whatever the hell you want to believe in at home i dont have a problem...were not a theocracy, so if you want that, go live in the middle east bitches
and just because you believe with all your might in something makes it no more true than the idea that picking your nose will make you rich
regardless of whether or not you believe in the bible, it is sold as a non-fiction and should be placed there. while it is amusing, it's pointless and just time-consuming.
and my goodness there's a lot of "god-haters" on this website. most athiests I've met aren't so condescending to "bible thumpers. "
I offically love you<3.
Yeah and dinosaurs aren't real...
Everyone is going to hell
Some of the posts on here are funnier than the original.... Gotta love stupid people!!!
to "June 23, 2009 11:38PM" if we're gonna be banned for life, then why the hell would we bother helping fix it
i'll pray for you...
And that will do what now? Waste a few minutes of your life?
WHY THE FUCK Would you do that.... Jk just doing that to piss egomaniacal hipocrits off
I think that religion is a bunch of bullshit. People should live their lives the way they want to, and not the way that "the book" tells them. Religion was created to scare people. Good vs. Evil, what a bunch of crap.
I'm not atheist but that's funny!!!
haha wow i've read the bible been to sunday shool and all, and i dont believe in any of it.. its good to follow and all... but nice... if you really care about your religion this much i dont understand why your even on this website!! the person who did this probably did it for something to laugh at (my hat is off to that person) i need to try it!!
Funny. Did ur dick fall off afterwards or what? God probly did something like that.
Hahaha that's awesome
right where they belong
I'm amazed this got on the site. The quote's several years old. >_>
You are awesome :)
Haha this is hilarious. The Jesus Freaks are idiots and probably don't know shit about their religion. Especially Catholics considering they have been the most corrupt group of people for the last 1,000 years lol. Sale of indulgences???? Witch killings? And why is it that as of right now the Vatican is the richest entity in the entire world?
WIN....this is amazing
Are you fucking kidding?!! Wow ur a dumbass
You should read the bible ever once in a while, maybe you will think twice about what you did!
Definitely. After taking another look at that disgusting book full of genocide, r a p e, and hate, hopefully OP will reconsider moving the Bible, and just burn it instead.
i did that once. True story, changed my life
God bless u!
Amazing. You are also my hero.
That is extremly awesome
llmfao is all i can say
you more like got kicked out because you moved their merch all over dildo
fuck this, overdone and stupid. goddamn people.
i got kicked out of barns and nobles cuz i pissed on all of the justin bieber books
I want to find you and make you my friend immediately.
wow that's messed up
Every time I hear an atheist say oh my god I say but you don't believe in god. That gets them pissed. But seriously I am a Christian and I don't really mind atheists as long as they are not jerks about it
Hahahha If I died tomorrow it would ne just fine
Where they belong.
Mediummac, your a douchebag because your obviously a crazy conservative bitch who is too scared to face the facts that god is a fucking ass hole. And this was funny so fuck you if your too stuck up to have a sense of humor :p
Yeah I mean the fact that religions pressure people to convert is bad enough. then the fact that they try to tell us what we believe is wrong when they don't have aclue themselves is worse
good job you did the right thing
LOL @ 10:20....thunder,thunder,thunder,thunderCATS...
How did this get thumbs down that's amazing
This made my day . :o
Great one! It was written by men...with motive.
HAHA I truly love you for this!!!
This made my day.
You know what's funny? That all you people claiming to be "Christian" are the ones cursing and thretening to kick everyones ass. Religion is the cause of most wars aand your all proving it. Take that to heaven with you.
November 5, 2009 7:31PM i'm right here with you :) god bless you too.
Lol...this is like a giant thread where all the like-minded atheists can stand up and cheer / gang up + bash any christian that has an opposing opinion on the Bible. All for a stolen joke that has been around for years.
and i believe it too--I'm from that area and it's so boring that this sounds like a pretty quality way to spend a day.
Texts From Last Night... The best place to debate the existence of God!
...(also funny texts)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Problem_of_evil\n\nwhoops I pointed out a huge hole in all of modern religion.... shit sorry guys
I'm christian and I think this is funny. \nAnd to all peolple saying "Christians are crazy" or that we're hypocrites then stop generalizing all of us. Some Christians are crazy, but some aren't, just like with any relgion or race
Wow! Did you really? How many times have I heard that? That's not original at all.
I hope you guys don't actually BELIEVE this. That's so sad. You don't, right? I mean this has been going around forever. Whoever this is probably just copied it right off a bumper sticker. It's the EXACT words as the bumper sticker, so don't give me "ohhh people do it all the tiiiime" PATHETIC.
Dear anon. On Feb 11th you stole that from George Carlin. APA style cite that shit. Did you listen to Howard Stern this a.m. And hear that?
Sound like something that I would do.
I don't see why they don't keep them there anyways!
Hahahahaha this is the funniest and most true thing ever. Amen to that!
I could care less, but I think the old testament is bull shit it says people lived till they were 1000. Though the new testament is more historical. Jesus was a proved human being, there are painting of him, there are written records of him. Also he did preform miracles and they were recorded as was his lectures so not all of the bible is fake!
We should sartt an internet/ facebook/ twitter campaign: "INTERNATIONAL PUT THE BIBLE IN THE FICTION SECTION DAY"!! Who's up to it?
Im christiam, and idc much about this TFLN
I'm sure it was the protestant bible and this person was probably Catholic, duh.
alright man reppin that 215 philly area on this site good shit man
you are my hero this is brilliant
Amazing, awesome idea
why so many stolen ideas, tfln?
No, you got kicked out of Barnes
I don't believe in a zombie? but i do believe in my creator. How else do you think everything got here? And would you rather live like there isn't a god and be wrong, or live like there is one and be right? cuz even if I was wrong (which I have full faith Im not) I would end up in the same position your expecting to be.
Fun! Fun! Fun! This has always been on my to do list, yet I haven't done it yet, I'm now moving it to the top of the list! Thanx for the reminder, tehe!
I love you.
BarnES and NOBLE (no S) get a new story asshole.
The irony is of biblical proportion !
It's funny cause religion is a joke. If god gave us life then why would he want us to waste it away from a book. The Da Vinci code sold more than bibles
Okay your last statement, legendarry, is unfortunately a false one
I think I just shit my pants.
F*** you just made my year
this made my day. :D
Lol you are awesome
I don't think this was right still pretty funny
It should have been there in the first place, and I woul love to believe what's in th bible but I have something called thoughts.
All religous people need to stop judging and looking down on people who don't conform to your religion. Not the intent of Jesus.
Yo I live near this area code wonder if I know you?
Best TFLN EVER.. Period.
I believe in God but this is still funny
Oh my god, that is hilarious!! You are my hero!!
This has been done...
HAHAHA!! I'm going to go do that
You misunderstood what it says, 1:34.
The world began ~6000 years ago, but the universe existed long before. When the Bible says that "God created the heavens and the earth," it means God created Heaven and the Earth at the same time. The universe was around long before.
And one major flaw in the big bang theory is that you need a spark to make an explosion. What was your spark?
The Big Bang theory was improperly named, it was simply the expansion of a point millions of times smaller than an atom to a much more reasonable size. The Earth itself was created 5 billion years ago, when the sun cooled to its present state. And life was formed from lifelessness. Kudos to all who can recognize that bottom quote.
Hahahahaha ohhhh man, I heart your ass
This thing is on both the best and the worst nights list because it has so many dislikes. 31956 people must like Barnes and Noble.
I believe in god,but THAT WAS FRIKKIN HILARIOUS! And I dislike how this turned into a complaints page instead of a comments page
*IF UR A CHRISTIAN KEEP READING* when we say the world will end in 2012, take a second and think...in Revelations, it says nobody knows when the world will end. So why do we always think that 2012 is the end?Take a second and think about it. The world might end in 2012, but until all 7 signs have been established, there isn't proof. SO DONT WORRY AND KNOW THAT THERE ISNT PROOF! If ur a Christain and u believe this, forward to everyone, even me!
WTF god is a fairytale to keep us from thermonuclear war!!!!! Read your history man
Boring post. Let's get somebody who isn't an idiot stoner to post texts. They may actually be amusing then.
I put them in the fantasy section but fiction works
Hell yea that's what I'm tAlking about nxt time I go to barnes and noble I'm doing that.
I bow down to you
Jesus you people who think your so god damn scientific because your atheist. You seem to think Chrisians beleive there is a big bearded man in the sky who knows everything. In fact Im a Christian and might do this because its really really funny.
haha, I did that once.
So fake. Soooo fake.
I'm Christian and I would just love to but scientific theory in fiction section!
Prove it's fiction
That's where they belong.
Epic... That is all i have to say
That's where I'd go looking first or are Catholics still ignoring science?
you are abit of a legend!
Holy shit xD ive done that before!
dude I want to go to hell. that's where the party. all the fun people will be there and all the annoying goody two shoes will be in heaven. i'm excited for hell
YOU ARE MY HEROOOOO!!!!
i also pray that god would show all yall lost souls some kind of light.. you will need him one day, you need him now but havent yet realized it.. bless you all
fuck you douche bag
Hahaha what a fagot can't even get laid so he's doing that fudge-packer I'd be ashamed to be the guy he text that to
probably the best thing I have heard all day
Epic. Something I would do.
I LOVE YOU
Still fantastic every time I read this one.
this is one of the funniest things i've ever read...and i'm a christian. i figure if you can't laugh at yourself, you've got NO BUSINESS laughing at anything or anyone else.
I did the same thing in Borders but I put them in the "fantasy" section :)
sucks for the people in the store but thats pretty fucking funny!
STFU 10 24
Favorited this shit.
I got once kicked out of Barnes and Noble cuz I'm black as pitch
You have to believe in something to live. Some people believe in god
tht thing is so fucking old, eithr yu made it up or yu stole th idea frm somwher
these pretzels are making me Firsty!
Only in Philly.
Lmao hilarious but bad
All the people who are being ass holes about relgion can get a life because religion is important and the majority of people live their lives by it... If you choose not to accept this one or any other that's fine but don't be a jackass.
Christianity is the belief that a jewish zombie who lives in space will take the evil from our souls if we drink his blood, and telapathicly tell him he is our master and we accept him then the evil put in us by a rib lady who talks to snakes will be taken away and we too will live forever in space/cloud city
Bible is not fiction you ass.
11:43 ...if a joke about the bible is a sin....that leads to someone deserving to go to hell. then what does it say about you being on a site that contains such a graffic nature and vile content?
Ha ha I'm a Christian but I still find this funny
That's fucking hilarious. "I like your style Tibbs" lol
Haha I used to ask why it wasn't in there all the time
Religion is a scam and a cult... Some more of a cult than others... I'm happy I got away from churches and doing my own thing... I was raised baptist then finally realized what a joke I was living... I believe in science... Props to you my friend, bibles ARE fiction! :-)
it may be an old quote but they could have done it too. people just love crying fake on something that isactually fucking hilarious
708, anything else you wanna say? fucking loser
Religon.... Yawn. But anyway, this is gooooood shit, dude.
If only the bible was fiction, freakin atheiest!
Hey dec 20, 12:32, u Christians ARE beating up on us for being aethiests. U dumbass must be unalble to read.
I'll take 'Urban Legend' for $1,000 Alex
How could anyone vote bad night on this? Religion is poopy!
LMFAO @ Griffmaster that made the text x10000 more awesome
Awesome!!!! anybody who actually takes that book seriously probably believes in unicorns and dragons too.
I'm a devoted Christian. And I find this to be not only offensive, but damn hilarious too. Well played sir!
This text made me buy this app on my
Science is bullshit. How the fuck does anyone know how old the earth is? And how would some "big bang" put the earth in a habitable spot in the galaxy, just close enough to the sun that we don't burn up or freeze? Might as well put the science books in the fiction section as well.
Go look up Occam's razor right now.
AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! NO FUCKNG WAY ME TOOO! AAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA
this is funny regardless of everything.
i seriously lol'd for a good 30-40 seconds.
That is a horrible thing to say, and not true.
So the Bible is true? Why? Because the Bible says so? Open your eyes and get rid of that crutch you call "faith." I can't believe not thinking is called virtuous.
I'm baptist. Every moral bone in my body says I should be mad. But I can't stop laughing!
hahahahahahaha omg this is so funny
the bible is a guideline about how you should live your life...not a way of life. come on people.
I thought they belonged there *laughs* best tfln!
That's so funny. I'd do it too
Everything about all the comments I've read seriosly irritate the hell out of me..the "Christians" and the non "Christians" in the past couple of years I've come to my own belief that there is a God, if there wasn't then life on this earth is completely pointless. I'm not leaving this to say have fun in hell or to say believing in God is stupid. I'm leaving this to say it dosnt matter what happens in the end rlly so why cause another problem in the world by fighting over it?
The point is to carry on your species, do what you want with the rest of your time.
June 24, 2009 12:49AM made god sound like a flasher hahaha
Jumping out of an alley in a trench coat
@7/15 5:01 PM
No. Just, no.
u r my soulmate
O mg why r there soooo many azzez saying stupid sh1t? I mean wow I found this funny and I'm Christian by why do atheist have to be such douches?
I think everyone who is bashing Christians for "looking down on others" is be amazingly hypocritical. Good job.
Your going to hell
Hahaha, wether to beleive or not, this was added to my favorites XD
China has killed one MILLION babies. Gendercide
You deserved that
This text was a joke. Lighten up.
i do that all the time!
[TN]FBMachine: i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section
Who the fuck uses the word tool? Other than me because I just did and I am indeed a tool.. I'm fine with that. Tools.
God (pun intended) - wish I had thought of that...
The greatest thing I've ever read ... Well played sir
Lmao I know a kid who did that.
ok believe in whatever you want idc but knocking on someone else's religion is fucking rude. just because you dont believe the same thing as someone else doesnt mean you have the right to do something like that. some of you commenters give athiesm a hell of a bad name.
Wow. As a Christian this kind of hurts. How about I go and put all of the Darwin science books in the fiction section and we can call it even and drink beer together?
That's so bad!!! I love it
If someone is that religious and like to whine about what's posted on here, why even get read this site? It's not even remotely holy.
Lol kudos to you for having the guts to do that :B
All u guys saying "enjoy ur time in hell" are fucking stupid.u go to hell when you die therefor being lit on fire for all eternity wudnt hurt BECAUSE YOUR DEAD!
I agree, we are all going to hell haha
Anyone who seriously thought this was a cool or funny is seriously fuckedd upp because it's one of the most retartedd and offensive things i've heard of and if you don't believe in god that's your choice but don't be an idiot
Wow, you don't realise how many people read this site until someone insults a mythology.
I'm surprised they weren't already in the fiction section
Oh, and by the way, all you stupid dumbasses who said this guy will go to hell...well, looks like creationism'll have a hard time describing your rare case of profound religious retardedness
Does this look familiar: http://bash.org/?406373
Shit people stop arguing it's just a damn post you know you lafed (cant spell that word)(no I am not a dumbass because I can't spell one word) so stfu
Right where they need to be.... Fiction.
I hope all te people who think this is funny burn in hell I don't really have to hope tho bc I know it WILl happen and your right we shouldn't judge you bc God will and I already know what my buddy is going to say
Hahahahahahaha this is my life
god hates you
I tried that after I read this and some crazy Christian bitch kick me in the nads
Haha nice immature do tht
Omg ur my f***in hero!!!!!! Finnaly someone thinks it's all crap !
Better be a Philly head. 666.
You may be the best person ever!
Hahahahahaha all I will say is tht christianity and just about every other religion has done sooo many bad things like start tons of wars and byism it out wieghs the faith and other shit
This is fucking amazing lol!!!!
You r stupid I would kick u out son
Original or not, it's fucking funny.
That one I haven't heard. My favorite is to get a book on satanism or fetish sex, and put it in the christian section. Right in front. Then just grab a coffee, a book to look like you're busy, and wait for it. Good times, good times.
i feel like everyone is always going to have different beliefs and views, and that no one knows for certain why we are here, and we just need to respect others beliefs. =] even scientology, blah.
You sir are an asshole the rapture is soon when I'm floating up to heaven I'm gonna be laughing at u
Why are all the comments segments from the bible? Ahh crazy Christians!
I'm a christian but i still can't help laughing.
Dude this is so old I was sayin it in middle school
i love how something so 'sacred' is mass produced and sold in stores.
I was raised Baptist and I actually found this super funny. What's not cool though is that people are actually having religious debates on here... right now... on textsfromlastnight... I mean really? I highly doubt that anyone will change their own opinion after reading your comments so just keep it to yourself. Enjoy the text, laugh, and move the fuck on.
Your my hero as well!! Next time don't get caught.
This is an old stand up comedy line from at least two different UK comedians
You are a hero
They were probly already in the religion section - I thought that was the same thing
Epic motherfucking win!
The comments are funnier than the post itself!!!!!
7:51 Darwinism is Science... Fact. Not fiction. Read books often?
Went and did this and yeah they get really pissy
The Bible is a book of "stories" but they are true stories. True means non-fiction. There are so many ways that the Bible has been proven over the years and is used as a historical document. It is also alive and applies to life today. There are things that the Bible predicts that have come true and will come true in the future. Christians are not perfect people but should strive to be so. No one is perfect so they shouldn't be judged more than others around them.
everyone argueing needs to calm down, it's just TFLN. if you want to have a discussion about religion, go somewhere else. this is a place for fun. thankyou.
I always wonder what do atheists say instead of "oh my god" and anyways Jesus was a very real person. The roman empire took records for everything and one of those records was the record of a crucifixion of a man. His name was Jesus for all those fucktard atheists who did not already know
Jesus was a man, he just wasn't the son of any god. And we say "Oh my god" as a cultural item.
Ha that's epic
Tell hitler I said hey when you get to hell.
Yeaaaah this is my area code. Philly represent xD
Haha. You're my favourite type of person :)
You are AWESOME.
This has been a bumper sticker for the longest time
I have my doubts about religion. Personally I'm Buddhist. But this was funny, even if you didn't do it. Just a funny quote.
Ur my fukin hero.
Philly all day represent meek cy yung hot all dem niggs
Hahaha omg my ass just fell off lol hahaha
Someones going to hell
love it. you are my idol
LMFAO THAT IS GENIUS!!!! Was this a prank? lol
i hate that everyone lumps christians into one catagory. i think this is funny. why cant we all just respect each others beliefs? how do you expect christians to respect you when you lable us all the same way? were individuals who deserve respect just as much as atheists.
I'm a Christian but I'll be the first to admit that Christians as a whole are idiots who need to pull their heads out of their asses I can't stand most Christians they are idiotic hypocrites also this is hilarious so you can judge Christians as a whole but please know that we are not all fucked up retards
I want to grow up to be just like you :)
my friend did the same exact thing
hahahahhhahaha AMAZING i wanna meet you..
It's funny how atheists r mad at Christians for supposedly posting their religions everywhere whenever it's the atheists who never shut up lmao. Rarely do u see admitted Christians anywhere, but atheists r all over the Internet lmao fail
We atheists aren't being hypocritical, since we aren't the ones claiming we have unending love and tolerance for everyone. We don't tolerate what are obviously bad ideas, like Christianity, Islam, etc. If someone told you they believed in ghosts and unicorns you wouldn't respect them. You'd call them the idiot that they are.
That's very wrong to do because it isn't fiction and I hope all these commenters relize that supporting this isn't right to all you Christians that commented y'all should be ashamed of yourselves!
all who posted hate comments, shut the fuck up. I'd do this with the Torah or the Qu'ran as well as the Bible since they all say almost the same thing. Learn to laugh at yourselves and not just others. Now for sleep
Hahaha I'm gonna do that <3
Why the fuck are all the Christians getting so worked up, they shouldn't be all defensive if they're so convinced they're in the right, self righteous pricks
This guys a fucking legend!
Omg I love you for that
Alright, I'm a christian, but that is hillarious.
You're a douche
This is the best thing I've seen in my life. If I saw you doing that I would have helped.
I love you. Yup. That's all I have to say about that.
For all the atheists out there, have you guys even read the Bible? It's ridiculous for any of you to come out and say that God did this, or God did that, when you haven't even taken the time to read the best selling book of all time. Besides, people's lives focus around it, and for this person to challenge its validity? That's just plain wrong. Funny, but wrong.
Happened to me too. But at Borders.
Awesome!! Love it
I belive the Bible, but this freaking classic. KUDOS!!!
Why did they kick you out? A man in the clouds. Who can send us to a burning hell if we don't worship him, but he loves us? Yep, that would be fiction.
Fucking awesome!!!I love you man haha no homo
Haha that is fucking hillarious!!
Lmao I would do the same
I just stole a Bible
omg. i'm athiest and SO doing that.
Only in philly
<3 i respect you young sir
Please that's an old joke.
I tried this and got bitch slapped by a nun.
Nothing happens when you die.
That's not funny or cool you going to hell
"women sinned first" hahaha
Wow really? Believing in god doesn't make you catholic you cunt. It's called Christianity.
this text is seriously a disgrace. it truly bothers me. and all u sayin that christianity is stupid, well enjoy ur time down there:)
never knew i had so many fellow atheists. love you guys!
This is a ripoff of a bash.org quote. Fuck you, OP.
Bows bravo man!!
That's exactly where that shit belongs. A trashcan would have worked just as well, too.
Haha, what a dumbass
Fuk u. If I worked there I'd kick u out and then kick ur drunk ass and dump u in a ditch only 2 come back an hour later and put u on a pool float in the ocean wearing nothing but ur socks and heading to Antarctica or japan, both would be nice.
Yeah, duh, you should have put them in the Fantasy section.
You're my hero!
Yeap thats where they should be lol .
Who cares if its real 90% of the txts r fake or exaggerated its stil prety fuckin funny
LOVE this shit.
That makes me sad
The bible is bullshit
dec 14 3:17 people like you are the reason people think christianity is a joke. please kill yourself.
You sir, are quite amazing.
I like how their are Christians getting mad, and them their are Christians that at saying there is nothing wrong with them using the power of logic.. Haha the people who frown upon must have no sense of humor? This is histarical
Your my hero.
haha i should do that sometime...
I'm a Christian and this is hilarious
Do it again.
I got kicked out of barnes n noble cuz i took a dump in a book
haha, this is high up on the best and worst nights. definitely one of the best nights ever though. as an atheist, i must whole heartedly approve of this. the bible is a lengthy story book with a very big following. id have to say it ha the most fan girls of anything ever. lol
You, sir, are epic and win.
guess what i am doing tonight!!!
Holy Fucking Athiests Batman! \nJoker fucked the Virgin Mary
Lol so true, so true lmao
Go to hell, that's where your ending up anyways. Do us all a favor and go a little early.
you sir are my idol and a legend