I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
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I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
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