He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
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I'm gonna walk and get in, cause no body trusts a runner
I just hope he was drunk or something when he said it
I'm going with run and get out now people...
id eat the corn out of your shit just to see where it came from
awww thats cute:). keeper
There's no way your worth even 1/4 of that. Dolphin offin' is a lot of work. And I think he's stealing that line from the movie "Bio-Dome" just tweaked it a little.
I like how people bitch about the people who are bitching. Idiots.
Bio-Dome is an AWESOME movie
i'm def. using that line this weekend
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i liked the last one. dumbasses.
I love dolphins.
No, I LOVE dolphins.
In that way.
bwahahahahaha... love the sarcasm.
That is dedication. Take it in only the best way.
well I would like it more if there were midgets involved
You all are strange peoples.
only if that is a dinner where a defenseless animal was killed in order to feed us.......
jeaze people take things way too seriously, why read this website if you take every text so seriously?
Nothing like killing helpless animals to express your desire to be with someone - i see a basement and a bottle of lotion in your future.
there's this thing called sarcasm.... and unfortunately it doesn't read as well as it sounds.
yeah, well....i would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass just to hear you fart through a walkie-talkie
It's a sad, sad day when a man has to kill a defenseless animal in order to get with someone... wouldn't it be cheaper and less difficult to just oh I don't know, buy her flowers and take her out to dinner?
if only killing animal activists wasn't a crime......I guarantee the poor defensless animals would be safer
Bahahahahaha!!!! Just read 12:52, dunno why but I lol'd
I'd fuck a polar bear in his ass if you would be part of our threesome!
... But Arkansas doesn't even have dolphins, meaning he'd have to go SUPER out of his way. so it's kinda sweet
why is nobody laughing at 12:52...?
He uses that line on all the ladies...
3:28... you're doing the same thing. Dumbass.
2:03PM....agreed! WTF people, it was a joke. and 2:32...the whole point of this site is to post funny texts from drunk people!!! Is it going to be like this all summer now that school's out???