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  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 10:41pm

    its the sound of your mom when she falls to the ground to suck my dick

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 9:10pm

    Naw that's one of Rosie Odonalds farts.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 12:38am

    you don't believe in me. you believe in paul, the sneaky evangelical bastard. check your scripture. - jesus

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 8:54pm

    You sure? It sounded more like Buddha's thighs slapping together again.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 10:49pm

    10:47 what/who do you worship to make you better than everybody else!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 11:19pm

    But first I'm going to pleasure myself to pictures of Mister Rogers. -Crispy

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 8:03pm

    Stuff like "gravity" and "inertia" are falsifiable because you can experiment to see if they are there or not; obviously you can't test to see if there is a god. If you don't know what I mean by falsifiable, take a psychology course at a good university.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 8:47pm

    i wanna know what was making that sound

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 12:44am

    12:29, amen. But Jesus was actually ripped and really tan. He was a carpenter that had to carry lumber across countries in the hot sun. >.> every country pictures him as their own ethnicity. America depicts him as white, Africa depicts him as black, etc.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 8:47am

    While we all are on the subject of religion I thought I should add: Fuck the po-liece

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 1:18am

    what passage is that?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 25, 09 at 1:06am

    9:16 has things figured out.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 9:29pm

    8:36 im christian and i find it funny. alot of my friends that hace this app are christian

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 12:35pm

    fuck crispy -Crispy

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 11:17pm

    I'm sick of all of you copying my signature. I'm going to sue you all. -Crispy

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 7:22am

    I love how everyone's denying the existence of Jesus, but not Zeus

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 10:39am

    WHO CARES!! you believe GREAT! you don't WONDERFUL....moving on

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 7:59pm

    To October 1st at 9:51 PM and all the other people that are arguing against AND for religion in general: Science can not disprove religion because religion and any god/spirits/hell/heaven are UNFALSIFIABLE. This means that nothing that science does can ever disprove that they exist for a fact because they are not in the realm of Science.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 2:24pm

    You go, VA beach! Keepin' it epic. I miss you guys.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 10:15am

    6:53, guess what? Your precious book also warns against the assumption of salvation and judging yourself instead of trusting god. I wouldn't be too sure you're getting into heaven either. And should we be proving Zeus doesn't exist? It's Christians that can't accept their religion as mythology. I don't know any modern Hellenic pantheists.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 6, 09 at 12:32am

    I can't believe I am actually reading a religious debate on tfln...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 12:19am

    I'm sure Jesus is nice and all but don't force anything on anyone. Jesus wouldve lived and let live, 12 am.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 10:41pm

    Neck, no self-serves 10:32 Jesus was real

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 2:13am

    -Crispy© it's mine now

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 9:20pm

    Nice analogy young padawan

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 12:04am

    im not religious but i just thought of a south park rendition of this text and busted up laughing

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 8:04pm

    Although you may have your opinion that none of it exists or that it all exists, the other side of the argument can still keep their opinion and neither of you can ever be proven correct (unless of course when I die I go to hell and that would sure suck).

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 9:16am

    i believe in god. i don't go to chruch, i've never read the bible, and i never claim that i don't judge people because lets face it EVERYBODY does. i live my life the best i can and try really hard to be a good person. if he doesn't let me in then i'll have friends in hell because he's not letting them in either

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 12:29am

    I have read the Bible, and it's the perfect evidence that Christianity is a fallacy, 12:00. I don't discount that there may be the divine in existence, but it's unlikely to be personified as an old white male. Why don't you research deism before you subscribe to historical inaccuracy and spiritual paradox.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 11:04pm

    Maybe sounded like santa and that newyears baby?...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 10:54pm

    10:47 doesn't need imaginary friends or paternal authority figures. What's the point of religion besides cultural manipulation?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 8:54pm

    That's the truth for u

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 12:01am

    Go Cowboys! Lol random.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 31, 09 at 11:51am

    Haha you're my hero!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 11:45am

    Wow simply awesome!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 12:29am

    Jesus isn't real idiots. -Crispy

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 11:53pm

    fuck religion. -Crispy

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 11:10pm

    Yes, yes Crispy... Two fat people bangin Baby Newyears with Santa.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 8:56pm

    Let the record show that this highfive occurred between Willem and Frankie on 9/30/09 at OLHS

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 11:59pm

    That must be exactly like Chuck Norris and Ash Ketchum highfiving

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 1:15am

    Jesus wasn't a carpenter. It's a mistranslation of earlier passages that were referring to his alleged healing powers. Not that it makes a difference since he may not have even been a person, much less the son of god.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 1:09pm

    i declare this whole page Epic Fail

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 9:23pm

    I never before realized how close in spelling Zeus and Jesus are.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 9, 09 at 2:01pm

    Shhhh stop freakin out over anything religious... It was a joke, get over it.. You guys just find something to flip shit over in anything people say these days. Shut the HELL up cause no one cares. Plus, this one was priceless.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 11:17pm

    Pahahahaha I love when texts turn into religious arguments hahahahahaha get a life people

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 8:01am

    The concept of hell is to scare the fearful and unintelligent into blindly following religion. Follow our rules or burn in hell for eternity, ha pussies.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 10:52pm

    Zeus was real! no that doesn't make sense either...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 7:35am

    Ah nick frosts Twitter being put to good use I see!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 11:33pm

    Yeah guys political arguements on tfln r re-fucking-tarded so just stop. Unless yalls wanna fight cuz I will fucking roundhouse ur ass *HighRoad*

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 8:36pm

    Why would any Christians even be on this website? I'm sure they wouldn't find it too funny..... this text was hilarious!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 6:15pm

    6:53 sounds like judgment and self-righteousness. although that's the usual case with christians, the bible condemns such behavior. you're going to hell if it's real, bro.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 10:56pm

    You idiots, don't go so deep into it, just laugh. It was fuckin funny

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 11:20pm

    Mister Rogers is very sexy

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 11:08pm

    Like 2 fat people fucking? -crispy

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 10:47pm

    If you're dumb enough to type like that, 10:41, then you're probably ignorant enough to believe in Christianity. How's that working for you?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 5:16pm

    Satan = Santa and dog = god so Santa is Satan and a certain dog is god.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 9:52am

    Why the fuck can't someone put a text like this On here without it turning into a religious argument

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 11, 10 at 6:20pm

    Your are awesome

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 7:44am

    10:47 and crispy will probably burn in hell just sayinn

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 8:59pm

    The one day I'm not there and I miss that. This saddens me

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 11:13pm

    Okay, I'm an atheist, but I laughed at this text and that's the important thing. If Christians want to waste their lives judging others and praying instead of doing, let them.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 1:04pm

    10:15 you're much smarter than christians, your big words confuddle them. let them go, waste their lives, make empty threats. this is a funny text.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 1:24am

    I don't remember off the top of my head, but it was something about working with his hands that was improperly translated then misinterpreted. Much like everything the Bible says about women and gays in the New Testament. It's unfortunate that the Bible had so much potential to be a beautiful religion.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 8:43pm

    i claim 7:59, 8:03, and 8:04; go psych majors and btw i'm agnostic because of the unfalsifiable nature of religion, but I still don't believe

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 9:18pm

    Yes read that the first time

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 11:54pm

    Fuck you Crispy -Jesus

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 1:33am

    BOOOOOMMM

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 11, 10 at 6:22pm

    Zeus fires thunderbolts...God is the master of all.And to all the haters,Go to the ground

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 9:17pm

    "Let the record show that this highfive occurred between Willem and Frankie on 9/30/09 at OLHS" indeed it did. I'm proud to know you, Frankie.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 1:30am

    This is showing how dumb the I'm first fad is

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 9:36pm

    Spell much, 9:10?! God I hope you're not in College.... Then again, wouldn't surprise me. Hope your parents' money is at least buying you good pot and better booze.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 3:54pm

    crispy has an abnormally small penis

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 11:57pm

    To 10:54 oh yeah have fun with that. God bless! -Jesus Freak

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 10:32pm

    It's also the sound of the Easter Bunny and boogeyman. You know, as long as we're discussing nonexistent entities.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 1:29am

    I wish there was a god to smite this counting troll.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 6:53am

    10:47, it's gonna be awesome when I'm in heaven and you're in hell :)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 3:07am

    I use to smoke pot with jesus, he is real. But he pronounced it hey-zues lol maybe thats what the op was referring to... I'm high F4L53

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 12:00am

    Jesus is bomb. To all of you idiots who don't believe, go study a bible or something. Whatever, just don't impose your obviously wrong opinions to those of us in a higher state of mind. Yeeeah, I can be smart sounding! Take that weed.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 12:39pm

    And all this over a high 5, wooooooow!

  • Submitted by jltc on Jul 8, 11 at 1:28pm

    @6:53, I think I'll take hell, thank you very much. At least that way I'll be in good company.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 19, 09 at 5:22am

    To everyone Knockin Religion. Everyone has a right to their own beliefs. I myself am Methodist, but its your choice to be Athiest or whatever religion/non religion you are. So lets all stop talkin shit and just enjoy the texts. -cody.