He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Oh, makes sense.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.