What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Oh, makes sense.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.