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  • It's your fault for being a pervert. Jerk off in the bathroom. Retard.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 7:35pm
  • Did you post this here since FML wouldn't accept it?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 7:37pm
  • I'm surprised it took the little brother so long to say something. Poor kid. Awkward situation!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 7:50pm
  • Got what you desevered, dumbass. That's what the shower is for.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 7:41pm
  • hey at least he didnt tea bag him

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 12, 09 at 12:24am
  • 7:37 my thoughts exactly....definitely not a real text but an FML

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 8:01pm
  • Uhh... seek help 1114

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 11:40pm
  • 3:25 agreed. Missouri isn't fucking trash. Only some parts. Not all of it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 11:05pm
  • is most def. NOT trash. at least for the most part. and i do agree this story is gross.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:04am
  • Yeah, for Christ's sake, you're supposed to ask him for help.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 10, 09 at 8:35am
  • it's his own fault for sitting through it and not telling you he could hear.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 7:34pm
  • Yeah no kidding, that's disgusting. Go somewhere else to jerk off.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 7:36pm
  • don't think ur a perv, just FUCKING RUDE!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 25, 09 at 8:32pm
  • Missouri- 5 million people 5 last names

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 4:24pm
  • i'll jerk you off baby. and then put your tiny penis in my mouth.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:26am
  • you THINK they don't notice... i got earplugs b/c my roommate and her guy couldn't control themselves. even after i asked them not to, slept on the couch, gave them a taste of their own medicine...all to no avail. god i fucking hate them

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 8:07pm
  • rude! missouri is not trash.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 10:08pm
  • it's his own fault for not sucking you off.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 12:11am
  • lol 9:53 Im sure its not only Missouri people who jack off with their siblings in the room. lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 2:52pm
  • you are a sick fuck. I hope he lights you on fire when you are sleeping

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 10:13pm
  • Another reason why Missouri is trash

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 9:53am
  • I remember when I shared a room with my bro quietest me time ever.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 8:22pm
  • 9:53 can eat a dick. Only SOME of Missouri is white trash. SOME of us are cool. The rest of them are just as rich and spoiled and bigoted as you are.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 3:25pm
  • I am a little brother. My brother jerks oof when we sleep in the same room during holidays. To all brothers in the whole world: don't ever do this shit. Go to the fucking bathroom. We beg you.

    Submitted by Orzagh on Jun 28, 10 at 9:02am
  • use the bathroom weirdo... i couldnt J/O with my bro there anyway. Ugh. this must be from down south.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 10:11am
  • He sounds 13-14ish 11:53

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 8, 09 at 9:44pm
  • Guys, they are brothers...they have probably seen each other naked a million times, and if his little brother can tell what he is doing just by the sound, then that means he probably does it too...I'm not saying they should jerk off together, but they know each other well enough that it shouldn't be a big deal...they should be able to jerk off whenever they want it BOTH of their room!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 11:14pm
  • Weeds season 4 dumbass

    Submitted by ......... on Apr 5, 10 at 10:52pm
  • AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA. that's awesome.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:30am
  • ... I hope he tells your parents you immature twat, have some consideration.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 1:33pm
  • First.

    Submitted by sircohan on Jun 7, 10 at 1:27am
  • 7:37 qft. and hahaha how old is your brother..

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 11:53pm
  • hahahaha this shit is hilarious!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 1:02am
  • Fucking amazing! Hysterical. Love it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 13, 09 at 4:46pm
  • Don't be suprised if he jerks off on your face in retaliation.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 11:04pm
  • hay zeus christ STOP posting FMLs on here. NO ONE WOULD EVER TEXT THAT SHIT

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 8:08pm
  • HAHAHAHA! thats great man. just get a laptop and take it into the bathroom like the rest of america.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 6:01am
  • 12 11 We're readin the same book my friend...good shit...i mean cant a "brother" get a hand? shit

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 12:20am
  • everybody thinks that they can be quiet and sneaky when they jerk it, but we just can't. accept it and go to the bathroom man

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 10:48am
  • Wow, youre a sick noob.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 3:58pm
  • Honestly I couldnt stop laughing for like 20 minutes after reading this Thats absolutely priceless

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 5:48pm
  • firing off the ol skin pistol while your little brother is in the room? you should be ashamed of yourself.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 1:50am
  • Whoever wacks off while their bro is in the room is is just one sick bastard

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 22, 10 at 11:43am
  • BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....get a girl friend :O

    Submitted by JockeyGirl on Mar 28, 10 at 5:07pm
  • good old Kansas CIty MO

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 8, 09 at 11:19am
  • That's an FML. FYL

    Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 7, 10 at 1:46pm
  • who would you text this too if it is real? freak

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 26, 09 at 2:12am
  • thats gross...and 1008 missouri is most DEF. trash

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 10:37pm
  • a most epic fail. hit the bathroom, buddy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 12:08am
  • BAHAHAHA if i were you that wouldve made my life soooooo funny

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 6:39am
  • God damn it I'm in 816

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 19, 09 at 8:17pm
  • i just got off to this text. -_-'

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 12:49pm
  • haha you sound awesome =p but i agree it sounds more like fml. but i send texts like that too so idk 12:11 you're fucking sick. go rent the movie gag. sickest movie ever but im sure you'll enjoy it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 12:21am
  • i cant stop laughing at "fuck, im not listening to this again" which indicates the brother heard OP do it the previous night.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 11:51pm
  • 8:08 who are you to say what people will and will not text? I don't recall there being a cut-off on text content.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 8:30pm
  • I have done the same thing, just not my brother, in my dorm in college, only problem is turning the contrast on the monitor low enough it doesn't wake the roomie

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:50am
  • I usually do it in the shower. Soap feels good

    Submitted by  on Jun 27, 12 at 6:56pm
  • YDI for not being subtle. Jesus, if you're gonna fap while he's in the room, at least be polite about it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 12:01am
  • I'd throw a book (or maybe my box set of LOTR) into his lap

    Submitted by Fumbls on Nov 23, 11 at 8:51pm
  • AHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA hahaahahhaahaahhaa what a fucking clownnn hahahahaa

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 6:37pm
  • dude that fucking sucks...but what i don't understand is why you don't just go get laid?

    Submitted by msthebest on Nov 27, 11 at 4:58am
  • what the fuck are you doing wanking near your brother? Is this Kentucky? Is everyone into incest?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 5:50am
  • This is an fml... Nice try tho

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 27, 10 at 11:00pm
  • ummmm . . . . that's straight out of season 3 of weeds. very unoriginal.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 12:45am
  • ... Ah yes... the south... nothing quite like it... dude i respect the fact that u thought u were sneaky enough to pull that off XD... Priceless...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 16, 09 at 12:01am
  • happened to me lol i just dont say anything it sucks and its nasty

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 3, 09 at 9:48pm
  • bahaha i did this all last year and my roommate never ever noticed... go heels

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 8:02pm
  • lmfao i agree with July 5, 2009 7:41PM

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 19, 09 at 5:16pm
  • Hahahahaha damn what's wrong with you????

    Submitted by TheChronic on Mar 13, 10 at 10:21am
  • hahahaha. poor little brother. :c

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 10:33pm
  • Typical Missouri TRASH

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 12:25pm
  • hahahahahaah 10:13, me too

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 10:30pm
  • Hahahhahahahahahaha!!!.......no homo?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 27, 09 at 12:18am
  • Tell me you guys dont have bunk beds, because that would have been just about THE SADDEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 26, 09 at 2:29pm
  • My roomate has HLS So i no how you feel

    Submitted by epaulk0 on Mar 12, 11 at 2:48am
  • dont u have respect for other people? u fucking perv..go do that in the bathroom wierdo!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 10:06pm
  • more like a novel than a text. -toli

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 10:42am
  • who the fuck does this? jesus, can not you just get laid?

    Submitted by darnIT on Jul 6, 10 at 3:06am
  • Obviously he doesn't want to

    Submitted by gaterhog on Mar 11, 12 at 11:00pm
  • Points for him to not overreacting. I woulda just tried to throw something at ur balls

    Submitted by GarageSale on Aug 19, 11 at 3:01am
  • was laughing at this sooooo hard that when i attempted to read it to my brother, i stopped breathing :0

    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 3, 09 at 10:33pm
  • Dude, I did the exact same thing. The only differences in the circumastances is that my little broter wasn't aware of it and we had bunk beds

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 8:00pm
  • Who the fuck did you send this to...

    Submitted by LaxLife on Feb 5, 12 at 8:29pm
  • God this should be an FML

    Submitted by mistyv on Jun 21, 10 at 1:55am
  • what the fuck is wrong with you

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 1:25am
  • This would be in St.Joe!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 13, 09 at 12:31pm
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