I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
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"Daniel, for the last time, please stop drunk texting me, I am your Mom, Love You!"
don't stop man keep doing it
The orgasms are guaranteed, but for whom?
Ahhh, excellent point...
Next day: "Well two out of three isn't that bad right?"
*** 30 Seconds Later *** : Well two out of three isn't bad right?
Deal. The ride home in the morning sold me. When?
Ride home = no walk of shame. Go for it.
and this is how Arnold Schwarzenegger got caught....
so...whats your number? ;)
Can't you just *accio* that shit?
bahaha that made my day
Harry Potter fans shouldn't be allowed in public, even on the internet.
You had me at orgasm.
Consider this my RSVP lol
Who on earth gave this a bad night??!
Sounds like a good night...
The funny thing is I got a text like this last weekend and the only promise that was kept was the ride home the next day haha
Why are you on tfln? Get your ass over there!
Me = jealous.
Yeah 805, way to stay classy!! No wonder we are the happiest place in the nation...
I will be there at 11
@phys make the bitch walk gas isn't cheap
BadMitch never takes em home, www.badmitch.com
Who are you and where in the 805 are you???
yeah....who could resist that
wow... that's quite the offer!
Sounds like a good deal!
Sounds like he's a fat desperate loser.
And a money back guarantee too!
guess you responded to the wrong texter
That's a great deal!
Man I wish someone would offer me that! hahahahahaha :P
Alright I'm on my way lol
this comment isnt funny, ive heard the exact same thing on this website like 5 times
yep you are right your comment wasnt funny
Oh my god oh my god this is my area code I'm game Hit a chika up!! Hehe kidding. Maybe...
And you'll get herpes in return. Fair?
Can I get a what what!!