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  • 148 55
    Submitted by Siress on Apr 21, 10 at 7:33pm
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    I've been on the receiving end of such touching... I thought to myself about how to proceed upon my waking, since I woke without motion. "I won't wake up until I feel tonsils," was not the correct path, apparently.

  • 67 39
    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 21, 10 at 8:24pm
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    @750...yea because I'm sure that happens to you all the time right

    • 32 49
      Submitted by YourWifesFantasy on Apr 22, 10 at 1:28am
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      Let's see... There was my wife, my former friend's wife, a current friend's wife, a former coworker, a friend I ran into from high school, my college girlfriend, her best friend, my high school girlfriend, her best friend, some random chick in Cancun... Ummm... Yeah, I think that's about it. Does it happen "all the time"? Naaah. Has it happened a few hundred times over the past decade and a half? Oh yeah. I realize it's unlikely, but if you've got a hot wife, I'd

      • 29 38
        Submitted by Vena on Apr 22, 10 at 2:29am
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        oh fuck off. nobody gives a shit about your life story.

        • 31 39
          Submitted by YourWifesFantasy on Apr 22, 10 at 10:05am
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          Haha! That must be why I was asked the question, cause nobody cares, right Vagena?

          • 9 9
            Submitted by DavidWnC on Apr 23, 12 at 8:44am
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            it wasn't a question, it was a statement of disbelief.

  • 67 44
    Submitted by pandaexpress on Apr 21, 10 at 10:20pm
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    Way to stay classy orange county

  • 70 61
    Submitted by YourWifesFantasy on Apr 21, 10 at 7:50pm
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    NOTHING beats waking up to a hot ass girl slobbin on the knob!!! Mmm... Mmm!!!

  • 60 51
    Submitted by Tyspa on Apr 21, 10 at 8:16pm
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    I hope this is a dude posting this

  • 55 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 22, 10 at 1:03am
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    Slob on my knob like corn on the cob

  • 55 47
    Submitted by xx_bR1TNeY_xx on Apr 21, 10 at 7:36pm
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    Totally did that to my man before! Haha

  • 51 46
    Submitted by inflamessoilwork on Apr 21, 10 at 8:39pm
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    Try using your tonsils

  • 49 43
    Submitted by kurplunk on Apr 21, 10 at 8:55pm
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    Amature move. Use your mouth next time.

  • 50 46
    Submitted by heatroqs on Apr 22, 10 at 2:41am
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    My wife has agreed to these terms

  • 49 44
    Submitted by ohsoglam on Apr 21, 10 at 9:04pm
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    Hahahahaha I used to always do that to my boyfriend when we went to parties and he would pass out

  • 47 43
    Submitted by hottboii on Apr 21, 10 at 9:17pm
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    Your lips work better

  • 52 58
    Submitted by 69_Charger on Apr 21, 10 at 9:56pm
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    Let's play just the tip just for a second see how it feels...

  • 42 41
    Submitted by knuckles on Apr 21, 10 at 10:53pm
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    Another useless text not funny

  • 45 48
    Submitted by catwomanjenny on Apr 21, 10 at 10:40pm
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    I've done that before!!

  • 37 35
    Submitted by marsrover on Apr 22, 10 at 1:24am
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    The OP was totally a dude.

  • 39 41
    Submitted by mjo on Apr 22, 10 at 6:22am
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    I assumed posters a dude lol. Next time eat his ass. Guaranteed to get a reaction real quick.

  • 33 38
    Submitted by callawaysam1 on Apr 25, 10 at 1:51pm
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    ahahahahahahaa OMFG (714):\n\nShe tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep. BUSTED!

  • 36 47
    Submitted by Bella_Kai on Apr 23, 10 at 12:40am
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    Lmao, I've done that too

  • 30 37
    Submitted by muffincksdlsh on Apr 22, 10 at 10:17pm
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    Yeah, i've tried doing that to my guy before. it never works. they either just pretend they're still sleeping or they literally don't even feel it. hence morning wood.

  • 35 53
    Submitted by klangford on Apr 21, 10 at 8:31pm
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    stop talking, that will wake him

  • 23 31
    Submitted by xhauntedpassionx on Aug 26, 10 at 1:44pm
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    Ahaha. My boyfriend always says "If Im asleep when you get here, just molest me."

  • 31 49
    Submitted by dell on Apr 22, 10 at 8:06pm
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    Wish my girlfrend would do that

  • 22 34
    Submitted by Johnny_Blaze on Mar 16, 11 at 2:24am
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    This is the funniest one ever

  • 14 20
    Submitted by harrypotter36 on Dec 17, 11 at 8:05pm
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    Holy shit! There's a post on here from the same area code that says "she tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I just pretended to sleep." or something equally and eerilly similar to the OP s text

  • 27 48
    Submitted by lindseyb on Apr 21, 10 at 7:45pm
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    HahahahH

  • 42 98
    Submitted by iamthatguy on Apr 21, 10 at 7:03pm
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    hello first post!

    • 28 47
      Submitted by iamthatguy on Apr 21, 10 at 7:05pm
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      i'd like to take a minute to thank a few of my sponsors..

  • 22 82
    Submitted by sh1thead on Apr 21, 10 at 7:10pm
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    Lol...at "first"