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  • I've been on the receiving end of such touching... I thought to myself about how to proceed upon my waking, since I woke without motion. "I won't wake up until I feel tonsils," was not the correct path, apparently.

    Submitted by Siress on Apr 21, 10 at 7:33pm
  • @750...yea because I'm sure that happens to you all the time right

    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 21, 10 at 8:24pm
    • Let's see... There was my wife, my former friend's wife, a current friend's wife, a former coworker, a friend I ran into from high school, my college girlfriend, her best friend, my high school girlfriend, her best friend, some random chick in Cancun... Ummm... Yeah, I think that's about it. Does it happen "all the time"? Naaah. Has it happened a few hundred times over the past decade and a half? Oh yeah. I realize it's unlikely, but if you've got a hot wife, I'd

      Submitted by YourWifesFantasy on Apr 22, 10 at 1:28am
      • oh fuck off. nobody gives a shit about your life story.

        Submitted by Vena on Apr 22, 10 at 2:29am
        • Haha! That must be why I was asked the question, cause nobody cares, right Vagena?

          Submitted by YourWifesFantasy on Apr 22, 10 at 10:05am
          • it wasn't a question, it was a statement of disbelief.

            Submitted by DavidWnC on Apr 23, 12 at 8:44am
  • Way to stay classy orange county

    Submitted by pandaexpress on Apr 21, 10 at 10:20pm
  • Totally did that to my man before! Haha

    Submitted by xx_bR1TNeY_xx on Apr 21, 10 at 7:36pm
  • Your lips work better

    Submitted by hottboii on Apr 21, 10 at 9:17pm
  • NOTHING beats waking up to a hot ass girl slobbin on the knob!!! Mmm... Mmm!!!

    Submitted by YourWifesFantasy on Apr 21, 10 at 7:50pm
  • Try using your tonsils

    Submitted by inflamessoilwork on Apr 21, 10 at 8:39pm
  • This is the funniest one ever

    Submitted by Johnny_Blaze on Mar 16, 11 at 2:24am
  • I hope this is a dude posting this

    Submitted by Tyspa on Apr 21, 10 at 8:16pm
  • Slob on my knob like corn on the cob

    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 22, 10 at 1:03am
  • Ahaha. My boyfriend always says "If Im asleep when you get here, just molest me."

    Submitted by xhauntedpassionx on Aug 26, 10 at 1:44pm
  • Let's play just the tip just for a second see how it feels...

    Submitted by 69_Charger on Apr 21, 10 at 9:56pm
  • Hahahahaha I used to always do that to my boyfriend when we went to parties and he would pass out

    Submitted by ohsoglam on Apr 21, 10 at 9:04pm
  • Lmao, I've done that too

    Submitted by Bella_Kai on Apr 23, 10 at 12:40am
  • I've done that before!!

    Submitted by catwomanjenny on Apr 21, 10 at 10:40pm
  • Amature move. Use your mouth next time.

    Submitted by kurplunk on Apr 21, 10 at 8:55pm
  • Wish my girlfrend would do that

    Submitted by dell on Apr 22, 10 at 8:06pm
  • I assumed posters a dude lol. Next time eat his ass. Guaranteed to get a reaction real quick.

    Submitted by mjo on Apr 22, 10 at 6:22am
  • My wife has agreed to these terms

    Submitted by heatroqs on Apr 22, 10 at 2:41am
  • Holy shit! There's a post on here from the same area code that says "she tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I just pretended to sleep." or something equally and eerilly similar to the OP s text

    Submitted by harrypotter36 on Dec 17, 11 at 8:05pm
  • Yeah, i've tried doing that to my guy before. it never works. they either just pretend they're still sleeping or they literally don't even feel it. hence morning wood.

    Submitted by muffincksdlsh on Apr 22, 10 at 10:17pm
  • The OP was totally a dude.

    Submitted by marsrover on Apr 22, 10 at 1:24am
  • Another useless text not funny

    Submitted by knuckles on Apr 21, 10 at 10:53pm
  • ahahahahahahaa OMFG (714):\n\nShe tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep. BUSTED!

    Submitted by callawaysam1 on Apr 25, 10 at 1:51pm
  • stop talking, that will wake him

    Submitted by klangford on Apr 21, 10 at 8:31pm
  • HahahahH

    Submitted by lindseyb on Apr 21, 10 at 7:45pm
  • hello first post!

    Submitted by iamthatguy on Apr 21, 10 at 7:03pm
  • Lol...at "first"

    Submitted by sh1thead on Apr 21, 10 at 7:10pm