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  • Submitted by Siress on Apr 21, 10 at 7:33pm

    I've been on the receiving end of such touching... I thought to myself about how to proceed upon my waking, since I woke without motion. "I won't wake up until I feel tonsils," was not the correct path, apparently.

  • 95 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 21, 10 at 8:24pm

    @750...yea because I'm sure that happens to you all the time right

    • 48 66
      Submitted by YourWifesFantasy on Apr 22, 10 at 1:28am

      Let's see... There was my wife, my former friend's wife, a current friend's wife, a former coworker, a friend I ran into from high school, my college girlfriend, her best friend, my high school girlfriend, her best friend, some random chick in Cancun... Ummm... Yeah, I think that's about it. Does it happen "all the time"? Naaah. Has it happened a few hundred times over the past decade and a half? Oh yeah. I realize it's unlikely, but if you've got a hot wife, I'd

      • 49 58
        Submitted by Vena on Apr 22, 10 at 2:29am

        oh fuck off. nobody gives a shit about your life story.

        • 44 64
          Submitted by YourWifesFantasy on Apr 22, 10 at 10:05am

          Haha! That must be why I was asked the question, cause nobody cares, right Vagena?

          • 30 31
            Submitted by DavidWnC on Apr 23, 12 at 8:44am

            it wasn't a question, it was a statement of disbelief.

  • 94 68
    Submitted by pandaexpress on Apr 21, 10 at 10:20pm

    Way to stay classy orange county

  • 88 77
    Submitted by YourWifesFantasy on Apr 21, 10 at 7:50pm

    NOTHING beats waking up to a hot ass girl slobbin on the knob!!! Mmm... Mmm!!!

  • 75 63
    Submitted by xx_bR1TNeY_xx on Apr 21, 10 at 7:36pm

    Totally did that to my man before! Haha

  • 73 66
    Submitted by inflamessoilwork on Apr 21, 10 at 8:39pm

    Try using your tonsils

  • 75 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 22, 10 at 1:03am

    Slob on my knob like corn on the cob

  • 78 77
    Submitted by Tyspa on Apr 21, 10 at 8:16pm

    I hope this is a dude posting this

  • 71 67
    Submitted by ohsoglam on Apr 21, 10 at 9:04pm

    Hahahahaha I used to always do that to my boyfriend when we went to parties and he would pass out

  • 68 68
    Submitted by kurplunk on Apr 21, 10 at 8:55pm

    Amature move. Use your mouth next time.

  • 65 65
    Submitted by hottboii on Apr 21, 10 at 9:17pm

    Your lips work better

  • 66 68
    Submitted by catwomanjenny on Apr 21, 10 at 10:40pm

    I've done that before!!

  • 75 89
    Submitted by 69_Charger on Apr 21, 10 at 9:56pm

    Let's play just the tip just for a second see how it feels...

  • 62 68
    Submitted by mjo on Apr 22, 10 at 6:22am

    I assumed posters a dude lol. Next time eat his ass. Guaranteed to get a reaction real quick.

  • 60 64
    Submitted by knuckles on Apr 21, 10 at 10:53pm

    Another useless text not funny

  • 66 77
    Submitted by heatroqs on Apr 22, 10 at 2:41am

    My wife has agreed to these terms

  • 54 55
    Submitted by marsrover on Apr 22, 10 at 1:24am

    The OP was totally a dude.

  • 60 76
    Submitted by dell on Apr 22, 10 at 8:06pm

    Wish my girlfrend would do that

  • 51 61
    Submitted by callawaysam1 on Apr 25, 10 at 1:51pm

    ahahahahahahaa OMFG (714):\n\nShe tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep. BUSTED!

  • 47 56
    Submitted by muffincksdlsh on Apr 22, 10 at 10:17pm

    Yeah, i've tried doing that to my guy before. it never works. they either just pretend they're still sleeping or they literally don't even feel it. hence morning wood.

  • 43 50
    Submitted by xhauntedpassionx on Aug 26, 10 at 1:44pm

    Ahaha. My boyfriend always says "If Im asleep when you get here, just molest me."

  • 56 76
    Submitted by Bella_Kai on Apr 23, 10 at 12:40am

    Lmao, I've done that too

  • 48 69
    Submitted by lindseyb on Apr 21, 10 at 7:45pm

    HahahahH

  • 52 78
    Submitted by klangford on Apr 21, 10 at 8:31pm

    stop talking, that will wake him

  • 40 55
    Submitted by Johnny_Blaze on Mar 16, 11 at 2:24am

    This is the funniest one ever

  • 28 41
    Submitted by harrypotter36 on Dec 17, 11 at 8:05pm

    Holy shit! There's a post on here from the same area code that says "she tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I just pretended to sleep." or something equally and eerilly similar to the OP s text

  • Submitted by iamthatguy on Apr 21, 10 at 7:03pm

    hello first post!

    • 49 78
      Submitted by iamthatguy on Apr 21, 10 at 7:05pm

      i'd like to take a minute to thank a few of my sponsors..

  • 42 96
    Submitted by sh1thead on Apr 21, 10 at 7:10pm

    Lol...at "first"