So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
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Drunk you is dropping a huge hint!!
Yeah. Drunk you wants to fuck sober you. And if you figure out how to make that work, lemme know. I'll buy a 5th and lock myself in my room.
Drunk you is telling sober you to quit bitching, go find someone, and get laid. Maybe part of your problem in doing this is your depressing attitude. No one likes to be around someone who's always dragging them down.