we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
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She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
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