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  • 83 45
    Submitted by ReesesPoofs on Nov 19, 11 at 11:28am

    Hypothetically, what would happen if I was LITERALLY that high plan b abortion tequilla blah blah blah...

  • 70 44
    Submitted by bakobell on Nov 19, 11 at 11:41am

    Did you fuck it and wear it as a hat?

  • 62 34
    Submitted by tayacb on Nov 19, 11 at 12:11pm

    A) google to see whether or not humans can get rabies from squirrels, B) if they can, bring in the squirrel for testing, C) if you can't get the squirrel, get rabies shots. Immediately. Animals can be contagious with rabies before they show any symptoms

  • 66 46
    Submitted by Attica on Nov 19, 11 at 11:08pm

    I had a bizarre nightmare the other night that a squirrel jumped out from the back of my couch and leapt at me with a firey vengeance, in a possible attempt to eat my face. Tetanus, dude. Tetanus.

  • 67 51
    Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on Nov 19, 11 at 4:04pm

    @tayacb that's exactly the right answer. Any mammal can carry rabies and can infect a human with its saliva. Rabies is rare in squirrels because they don't usually survive the attack by another animal that would give them rabies but it does happen. OP should get immediate professional medical attention.

  • 57 38
    Submitted by tayacb on Nov 19, 11 at 8:47pm

    Okay I googled this and there is no known case for squirrels infecting humans. But hypothetically it could happen and any mammal can carry rabies. Look up rabies on wiki

  • 59 44
    Submitted by amitch17 on Nov 19, 11 at 2:27pm

    That last hypothetically was unnecessary.

  • 60 50
    Submitted by daveyj on Nov 19, 11 at 11:25am

    If it had rabies, you're screwed. Read: dead. But on the bright side.. Well, I guess there isn't one. Go see a doctor. Hypothetically speaking of course.

  • 54 44
    Submitted by LuvvyBoo on Nov 19, 11 at 11:34pm

    Squirrels in my pants, sq-sq-squirrels in my pants.....(if you have kids that watch Nickelodeon, u get this)

  • 56 50
    Submitted by lsimz4 on Nov 19, 11 at 1:09pm

    Hypothetically speaking you most likely have rabies... Or not

  • 53 46
    Submitted by Attica on Nov 19, 11 at 11:12pm

    I had a bizarre nightmare the other night that a squirrel jumped out from the back of my couch and leapt at me with a firey vengeance, in a possible attempt to eat my face. Go get rabies shots, dude. Don't get owned by a squirrel.

  • 54 49
    Submitted by kevxster on Nov 20, 11 at 12:22am

    You didn't eat the chocolate squirrel, did you?

  • 54 50
    Submitted by JJdoggie on Nov 19, 11 at 11:50am

    You love college to?? Crazy kid.

  • 58 60
    Submitted by wubbazugg on Nov 19, 11 at 12:23pm

    Bakobell, it was a gopher. Now GTFO

  • 58 63
    Submitted by imjustinkay on Nov 19, 11 at 11:39am

    oddly enough, you can't get rabies from squirrels