Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Send us your Text From Last Night!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
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