well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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