OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
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